After the Darkness
by Maya Aodhan
Summary: My ending. My way. My Shepard. Its a lot Shakarian. Be kind. It's been a long time since I last wrote.
1. To the Beacon (femShep)

TO THE BEACON

The beam struck with a force that drove every ounce of air from her lungs. She was flung sideways by someone's dismembered body. Blood splattered her. It was impossible to draw breath for a few moments. Parts of her ached so badly. Sharp pain shattered her spine, driving shards of ice into her skull. Her world was a red haze and she lay there, the thought tickling the edge of her consciousness that it would be okay, totally okay if she could just stay here. She had tried, right? Every strand of her soul was drawn taught to the snapping point with how much she had given to this.

Garrus.

Garrus had given her _that_ order. She had looked into his eyes and wanted to weep. And here it was. In this moment, she had to disobey that order. That most important order. One she had wanted to carry out.

No.

No, it would not be. She had fought too long for this. Too hard for this. Too many people stood up because she had asked it of them.

So she would stand. She would stand up one final time for them.

Fucking…stand…UP.

It took more effort than she would have thought capable. Her armour was a weight she could not bear. She had to draw breath. With fumbling fingers she wrenched the tattered remnants from her chest and lay there gasping for a moment. So much pain. She stripped her gauntlets, and curved her fingers into the soil beneath her fingers. It was cool. It was damp. It felt real. So much more real than the machines that swirled overhead in a lightning display of combat.

Fucking…stand…UP.

She splayed her hand and turned to her knees. She stopped there a moment, nausea roiling in her belly. She spat a gob of blood to the dirt and swiped the back of her hand across her nose. Fuck. It felt broken. Along with her cheekbone. At the searing pain, she did retch. Leaning on her hands on her knees, she stared sightlessly at the mess between her feet.

You can fucking do this, Shepard.

Blue light danced around her. And she clutched her hand to a section of her ribcage. It was staved in and breathing was agony. A gun. She needed a gun. She fumbled for a sidearm and her trembling fingers found the grip of her Carnifex. She could barely lift it. Experimentally she tried to muster her biotics, but she was exhausted. Blackness hovered at the edge of her vision.

Fucking no. No. Push it back. You have to stand. You have to move. You have to fucking move.

She took a staggering step and it drove her to one knee.

Get..UP.

Her green eyes stared at their target. The blue beacon that would draw her to the Citadel. To the Crucible.

A husk swarmed out of the swirling smoke. Her instincts threw up her arm as she shot the thing in the face, snapping its head back. And she moved forward, barely more than a lurching shuffle. She could not stop. If she stopped, she wasn't certain she could get up again.

A Marauder. Her Carnifex clicked on an empty chamber after two bolts carved holes in the wretched creature's skull. But she had no room left for pity.

She hit the beacon, and she was surrounded by blue light.


	2. Sitting at the End of the World

Shepard strained for the controls as Hackett's voice rasped at her over the com. He was worried. He was pleading. She could hear it. So close.

As she slammed her hand down upon the key that depressed the activation sequence, something inside her broke. Her very being shattered and she sprawled back in a boneless heap, her eyes showing white as her blood dripped onto the floor.

She heard the achingly familiar voice over the com as she passed into the void.

"Shepard?"

It was with her last conscious breath that she sighed his name.

"Garrus."


	3. Subject Zero

SUBJECT ZERO

Jack tilted her head back and tears streaked mascara down her beautiful features. She was slimed with blood, hers…the reaper forces…and her students. They had been hit. Blown apart. And she couldn't have saved them.

Rodriguez sobbed beside her, her head in her hands, knees tucked up like a small child. Jack reached out and touched the girl on the shoulder, her luminous eyes staring up, not at the battle that was taking place above their heads, but at the stars barely visible above their heads.

"You got ten more seconds of crying, princess, then we gotta haul ass. I saw Octavia take cover over the street and Nethis was under that ship when it hit. We gotta get them out."

"Yes…ma'am," Rodriguez gulped back another sob.

"Get that singularity ready, Princess. There is a group of husks to our 2 o'clock. I will throw 'em once you get them off the ground. Then I want you to shockwave the cannibals advancing on the troops over there. We have to get the girls and head for their lines. Those grunts won't survive worth shit if we don't back them up."

"Yes, ma'am," Rodriguez swiped her forearm beneath her nose.

Jack turned to kneel and get a view of the street before them.

"Fuck," she ducked down.

"Ma'am?"

"Brute. Fucker is huge."

Jack closed her eyes. Rodriguez's voice was terrified.

"Ma'am?"

"Change of plan. Hit that fucker hard with a warp. And as soon as you can power it up, get a stasis on that cannibal. Then throw these…" she handed the girl the biotic grenades, "At those husks."

"What will…"

Jack gave a beatific smile, "I'm going to do what I do best…" after a moment she was surrounded by blue fire, "Save the mother fucking day."

Turning, she was a blur as she smashed into the fray.

Rodriguez threw the warp, and the brute snarled at the pain. Her stasis held the Cannibal in her thrall. The grenades sailed toward the distracted husks. They awkwardly hung into the air. She lifted her pistol and fired at one of them while she powered up a throw. She pitched it at one of the husks and it slammed brokenly into a wall.

The lift grenades released their effect and the remaining husks scrambled to their feet and came after her, eyes glowing mindlessly in their hunt for her.

"Shit!" she cried, and rose her gun to fire. One of the husks fell, the other came on. She missed the next round, and panicked. Missed again. It was on her. Then exploded into meaty chunks.

"FUCK!" she screamed, and covered her arms across her face. There was a pause. And a hand swam into focus as she lowered her arms.

"Come on, kid, Jack could use your help."

He hauled her to her feet and she regarded his scarred features.

"Get your skinny ass into gear," he growled, "We got reapers incoming."

Rodriguez blinked, and turned toward where Jack stood, hands clenched and snarling at an oncoming force. She powered up, almost blinding in the dark alley.

Zaeed Massani glanced down at the girl at his side, "Come on, kid. You want to live forever?" He raised his rifle to his shoulder and charged the fray.

Rodriguez bit her lower lip, a mask of fear upon her fine features. And after a moment, a half smile curved her lips. She powered her biotics…and charged.

"Fuck you all!" was her feral cry.

* * *

Jack gasped, her hands on her knees, ignoring the carnage around her, "You owe me twenty credits for that cursing, Rodriguez."

She straightened, put her hands to the small of her back and stretched, as Rodriguez panted, leaning against a cracked column.

"I'm fucking glad to see you, Massani," Jack drawled.

Zaeed slung his rifle onto his shoulder and grinned, "You too, Zero. Ready to save the ass of those useless Alliance fuckers?"

"Fuck yes," Jack strode toward Rodriguez, and tipped the girl's head back with her finger.

"You did good, kid. For someone who hasn't dealt with much frontline. You did good."

Rodriguez's face was flushed with pleasure, "Ma'am…I"

"Don't let it go to your head," Jack snarled without any real venom, "Get ready…"

They turned to face the small horde of reaper forces ambling down the street toward the trio. Bolts started smashing into the stonework around them. Jack flicked her hand and a ball of blue light shone brightly. Rodriguez clenched her fists and enveloped herself in a glow even as the merc dove for cover.

"See you on the other side," Jack drawled, and charged forward.


	4. The Valley of the Shadow of Death

Ashley grabbed Cortez and slammed him up against the busted tank that lay on its side across the street. She peered around the corner.

"Shit," she muttered, and glanced over at Javik, "Squad of cannibals and marauders."

Javik smiled grimly, "It will be a pleasure to grind their bones into a sticky paste." He raised his rifle.

Ash didn't return the smile, but nodded.

"Okay, Cortez, cover fire. Those husks will be on us in seconds, we need to get to that shuttle or we will miss the evac. This area is overrun," she ejected a spent heat sink with a slap, "Ready?"

She was rewarded with nods, and keeping low, she ran toward a blown armoured vehicle, circling around the half dozen reaper forces that slunk down the street, searching for survivors.

One of the marauders froze, eyes wide, his body surrounded by a murky dark cloud.

Here we go, she gritted her teeth, and rounding the corner, she started firing. The cannibals were startled momentarily, then starting shambling forward, their own weapons firing in her direction. She slammed back into cover. Cortez fired into the mess, downing one of them. She flicked out an incendiary and threw it. Chunks of flesh splattered the area and chemical flame licked distorted limbs. A marauder flailed, going down with an unearthly scream.

Bolts slammed into the armoured vehicle and it shuddered. Javik's weapon fired, the stream of light eye achingly bright. Ashley came out of cover again, right into the snarling face of a cannibal. It had advanced to fast on her position. She slammed her weapon into the side its head. It snarled, shook itself, and leapt for her, clawed digits scrabbling for purchase on her sleek uniform. She punched it again, losing her footing for a moment and going down. Too close. By God, its breath was foul.

She scrabbled for the small sidearm strapped to her hip, and hitting the power, levered it so it was under the beast's chest as it hovered over her. Pain shrieked through her head as it scored her shoulder. And she fired. A smoking hole was rent through flesh and she shoved the beast over, her arms extended.

"You okay, William's?" came the call from Cortez.

"Aye aye. Just takin' a break, Cortez. Be with you in a moment," Ash grunted as she hauled herself to her feet. She picked up her rifle, the little pistol once more holstered.

"Let's clear that path. Get up here, Cortez. Javik's almost got it sorted," she ignored the scream her shoulder gave, checking her medigel levels on her omnitool. Too low. Better save it in case.

Javik slammed a husk using biotics while firing on a marauder in cover. With a flick of his wrist he caused three husks advancing on his position to tumble awkwardly mid-air. Ash raised her rifle and shot the contained creatures. They fell roughly to the ground and Cortez finished off the marauder.

The three stood panting. Ash took the moment to examine her wound.

"You are hurt," Javik stated flatly.

"Just a scratch," Ash smeared the blood on her palm over the fabric covering her thigh.

"What? When?" Cortez spoke into his com, "Okay, we are nearly to the shuttle." He tapped the kill key and took a breath.

"They are activating the Crucible. Shepard is down," he scrubbed a hand over his face.

"Okay then," Ash rested her rifle on her good shoulder, "Let's get through."

* * *

Ash rested her forehead on the cool metal of the shuttle. The last ten minutes still shuddered through her mind. Tears gathered in her eyes. Cortez lay on the floor of the shuttle, pale and barely breathing. She had taken a shot and used the last of her medigel. Cortez had none. And when he had taken the spined fingers of the banshee through his gut before she could shoot the horrifying creature in the head, there had been no way to help him.

Javik sat at the controls.

"How is the pilot?" he asked of Ash.

"Alive. Barely. I can't ... I don't…"

"It will be alright, human spectre. This craft is quite simple to fly."

They were tossed sideways, throwing Ash from her seat, jamming Cortez against the wall of the craft.

"Also simple to shoot at," the Prothean snarled.

Ash clutched a handhold as instruments flickered around her and murmured a soft prayer.

"The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies…"

"Who do you speak to, human?" Javik asked over the com, "The words are…unusual to my ears."

"I pray to my God," Ashley replied, "To accept whatever will come with peace."

"How odd…we did not do such things."

Ash gave a soft huff of laughter, "No, I don't suppose you did."

There is a long pause.

"If you think it might help, if you would speak to your god on my behalf, I would be grateful," the Prothean's voice is thoughtful.

"I could arrange that," Ash murmured as she closed her eyes and held on tight as the shuttle rocked and shuddered.


	5. I Will Come for You

Garrus clenched his fingers into the back of Joker's chair. The pilot snarled an order into the com.

"Get that cannon firing! We have to blast our way through! EDI, those forward shields are looking shaky, direct power from the short range guns."

"RE ROUTING POWER," the blue orb of EDI's shipboard avatar flickered briefly.

"Keep it steady."

"Can we get through?" Garrus rumbled at Joker.

"Gonna try, big guy, she's gonna be okay. She's gotta be okay. WHOA!"

The Normandy rocked.

"Damage report!" the pilot howled into the com, as his fingers flew over the HUD controls.

The response was swift.

"Take down those bots! What?"

Joker cocked his head as something came in over his earpiece, "Oh baby, you are gonna save our asses."

A turian frigate drew up alongside, guns blazing.

"The Kereban," Garrus murmured, "I served on her once."

"Get to the shuttle," Joker snapped, "We can't dock this thing. You will have to head in by hand.

Garrus grunted and ran for the elevator shaft. He keyed his omnitool and the doors slid open.

"I'm coming with you,"

His blue eyes widened at the sight of Karin Chakwas in Alliance armour, her arms folded across her chest, pistols in place at her thighs.

"Doctor…"

"She's my little girl. And she is hurt. You know she is hurt."

Garrus fluttered his mandibles thoughtfully for a moment.

"Alright," he turned to close the doors, and his visor powered up, "Let's go get her."

They strode from the elevator toward the Hammerhead. Vega jammed his monocles into place, their HUD graphics flickering to life.

"You found her?" he queried gruffly, as he stepped into the tiny craft.

"I believe so," Garrus' features were somber.

"And we need the doc?" Vega jerked his head toward Chakwas as she clambered aboard and fumbled with the harnass.

Garrus slid into the pilot's seat. The only outer indication of his turmoil was the clench on his long fingers on the controls as they powered up.

"She went silent on the com. Hackett was speaking to her briefly, then the com went quiet. The Crucible has connected and the arms of the Citadel are opening," Dr Chakwas' voice was coolly matter of fact.

"And we need the doc," Vega acknowledged. He hefted his Valiant onto his shoulder, "Let's go get your girlfriend, Garrus."

The doors opened and the small craft slid into the violent battle that raged.

The small door slid open, and Vega came through, gun high even as Garrus snapped his rifle up and around. This room, like many others was empty.

Chakwas tapped her com, "Shepard. We are coming up through the presidium. Can you hear me? Shepard?"

She shook her head at Garrus' glance.

They ran through the vast arm of the Citadel, toward the control centre set for the activation of the Crucible. The door gave them a moment's pause as Garrus had to use his omnitool to bust open the security.

The first dead body was only vaguely familiar. The dark features of the Illusive Man were twisted rictus of self-inflicted death. His hand still held the pistol.

"Oh…David,"

Garrus glanced up from his study of the dead Cerberus leader at the sound of Dr Chakwas' voice. He strode over, gun lowered and bowed his head. Anderson slumped over the low ledge, at peace in death.

"Garrus…" Vega's voice had risen an octave.

Garrus rose, snapping his rifle in place over his shoulder. He ran toward Vega and knelt beside the broken body of his love. He touched her face in reverence. It was so cold.

"Is she…" Vega's voice was choked, his hands tugging off his goggles and tossing them on the ground.

"I don't know. I don't…"

They were interrupted.

"I don't mean to rush you, fellas, but the Crucible is powering up. If you don't get your collective asses out of there soon, we won't be able to jump with the fleet. Have you got her."

"We have her," Garrus snapped into the com. He slid his arms under her legs and beneath her shoulders. She was completely boneless in his grasp.

"Get Anderson. We have to get out of here," he ordered Vega, "MOVE!" when the big man hesitated.

Garrus lay Shepard on the floor of the shuttle. Vega jumped in beside him, lowering Anderson from his fireman's lift. Chakwas hoisted herself in, and immediately knelt to work over the Commander while Garrus slid into the pilot's seat.

"Taking off, Joker. Clear a path," Garrus slid his fingers over the controls and they rose to a hover.

"Roger…" came the disembodied voice, "Uhh…just…hurry, Garrus."


	6. By the Goddess

She lay crumpled against a shattered stone wall. She was surrounded by the dead. The corporal who had tried to save her from the banshee's grasp had suffered for his efforts. He lay beside her, eyes wide and unseeing, his blood drying on the cobbled street.

Her legs. They were there. She could see they were broken. But she couldn't feel that pain. That was bad. She should have been able to feel it.

The banshee had charged too fast. The brutes escorting her had torn them apart. The squad had been decimated. She could see their faces, pale in the darkness. She closed her eyes.

"Goddess help me," she murmured. Then gave a soft laugh that send pain winging through her spine. Goddess? Their Goddess was a Prothean. A fallible race, prideful and because of that unable to comprehend the terrible reality of the Reapers. And the asari had worshipped one for aeons.

She opened her eyes and stared at the sky. These Sol constellations were unfamiliar to her. And they were partially obscured by the debris of a massive space battle. She could see bursts of light with terrifying frequency. Was that humans dying in a single painful moment? Turian? Asari? Volus? Quarian? Or was it the Reapers? Was the massive fleet that Shepard had gathered enough to hold the tide?

She wondered about Feron. He had been her last. Both turning to each other before duty had swept them in different directions. She wondered if he was still out there somewhere. The last she had heard he was on Freedom's Progress, but who knew now?

She did not love him, she knew that in her heart. She moved a hand to her abdomen. It took so much effort. But this? This life they had created? She would have loved that. Tears traced lines through the dust and blood masking her lovely features.

She was getting cold. And she could hear the distant sounds of the ground war. That awful sound of the Reaper weapons firing. It would always mean death to her. She closed her eyes to the stars.

"Shepard…" she murmured, "Goddess protect you and bring you home safely."

* * *

A squad of Alliance soldiers picked their way through the dead, checking for wounded. Two were evac'd by shuttle. A hand passed over the face of the fallen asari in her bloodstained white tunic, then checked for a pulse.

"I think this one is dead. Dr Liara T'soni," the tags were checked.

"Shit, Dragus, that asari was part of Shepard's crew," a heavily armoured soldier strode over, "Damn. I thought they were protected by the gods. Nothing could touch 'em."

Dragus bowed his head and shook it, "Guess they die just like us."

"Come on. We should evac her. We can't leave her out here."

"Yeah," he opened his com, "One more for evac."

Dragus sighed and regarded the broken body of Shepard's asari, before moving on. He had a long night ahead.


	7. The Hard Decisions

"Did you get that last transmission?" Tali shook her omnitool, "I lost half of it to static."

"Yes, Tali," EDI replied in her quirky monotone, "It would seem that there are civilians trapped within the combat zone. They are unarmed and requesting assistance."

Tali scanned their surrounds and she huffed out a breath, "This whole planet is a combat zone." She raised a hand and rubbed her brow. A curiously human gesture considering it could do no more than transmit indecision.

"I wish Shepard were here to make this decision," she lowered her hand and tapped a few keys on her omnitool.

"You are an Admiral, Tali'zorah vas Normandy," EDI reminded her blankly, "I will follow your orders in the absence of Commander Shepard."

If a Quarian could look startled, Tali was. She paused for a moment. Then opened her com.

"Civilian channel, this is Admiral Tali'zorah vas Normandy. Transmit your position to this frequency. We are coming to find you."

"…thank the gods!" the voice on the other end was panicked, "We thought there was no one left."

"Calm down," Tali soothed, as she checked her tool for an updated transmission. She keyed in the map and lights came up on her visor, "Okay, we are not far from your position. Stay down, stay quiet."

"Okay..okay. Just hurry! Please!"

Tali clutched her shotgun in nervous hands. They hadn't come across Reaper forces, but this was one of the central parts of London that had been hit early. Bodies littered the streets in a temporary graveyard.

EDI murmured softly, and indicated with her heavy pistol, "There is something just ahead."

Tali jerked her head in that direction and narrowed her eyes. She tilted her head.

"That does not look like any of their forces…" she sounded perplexed. Paused. Then cried, "Ancestors!"

She flicked on her omnitool and opened the com.

"Grunt?" her voice was overjoyed.

The krogan, held up a fist and she could see there were hulking shadows in the streets around him behind cover. Aralakh Company had been on the ground all this time.

"Tali?" the reply was incredulous, "Shouldn't you be on the Normandy?"

"Joker went with Garrus and Vega to retrieve Shepard from the Citadel. It went communications dark though. We don't know any more. Admiral Hackett hasn't updated us."

"Well hell," Grunt growled, "There is a lot of fighting over by the beacon. The Reapers are throwing everything at it. The Alliance lost a hell of a lot of troopers there."

"EDI and I were making our way back to meet with the 103rd and help fortify their position."

"103rd? They made up most of Hammer," Grunt is grim, "They have taken heavy losses but are holding firm. Aralakh is standing with them. First Division is north of this position. There is a Reaper ship tearing the hell out of the Asari Serrice Guard and Sniper Unit. Between them, they are keeping Reapers from joining the fight around the beacon."

"Damn," Tali sighed, "And there is a group of civilians in that building over there. They requested evac."

Grunt looked over at what had once been an office block. Gargoyles stared back at them with stony indifference.

"Huh," he muttered, "That will slow us down. Your choice though, Tali. If we get moving, we can get through to the 103rd and make sure that beacon is secured. If we help these civilians…" his voice trailed off.

Tali looked around. She lifted her omnitool, "Commander Benning, this is Admiral Tali'zorah vas Normandy. What is your situation?"

It took a moment before there was a reply.

"Taken…heavy…losses," the static made the transmission hard to hear, "We will have to…retreat…reinforcements. Unless the Cruicible…we can't hold."

Tali pauses, and stares around her. At EDI, at the krogan, at Grunt…and at the building.

"Benning. We are coming to reinforce your position. I repeat, Aralakh Company is coming to reinforce your position."

"Acknowledged," there was relief in the voice of the Alliance Commander.

Grunt rested his hand on the lithe Quarian's shoulder.

"It's a tough call," he said gently, "But if we don't hold that position, it wouldn't have mattered if we had rescued those civilians."

Tali just nodded and activated her com.

"Civilians on this frequency. I am sorry. We cannot make it to your position at this time. Stay barricaded. Stay safe. We will come to get you as soon as we can."

"What?" the horror stricken voice was awful to listen to, "But you have to! We can't survive here!"

"I'm sorry. Just stay where you are. This area is not safe. I repeat. Just stay where you are."

"Fuck you…" the voice was tearful as the com was shut off.

Tali raised a hand to her brow again.

"Come on," she uttered bleakly, "If we don't leave now, we may not be in time."

Grunt just nodded, "You heard the Admiral. MOVE OUT!"

The krogan squad came out of shadowy cover, their grim faces set, with the light of battle in their eyes. Oh yes. Reaper blood would be spilled this night.

* * *

It was worse than Tali could imagine. She had been in tight spots before, the Collector ship was one of the worst. But this? This was slaughter. On both sides. The noise was constant, the sickening fear twisted her gut as she fired, threw her tech, ran out of grenades, sent drones after Reapers that had dug behind cover. She slipped in the blood of a human that lay twisted and broken behind the cover she wanted to use.

This was a battlefield. She could see the clear zone before the beacon. There were vehicles overturned. Blood smeared on the cobblestones. Shepard had made it through this?

In her distraction, she did not see the Marauder aiming at her. It fired and a hole tore through her arm, flooding her with pain and nausea. She threw herself behind cover and mashed buttons on her suit to isolate the tear and flood her system with antibiotics. Medigel flooded through, healing the wound, but she had a rend in her suit. This was why Quarians shouldn't be in a ground war!

She crouched low and peered around. The 103rd were holding with the krogan smashing through the Reaper lines. Shotguns fired constantly and battle cries rent the air. When a krogan ran out of projectiles, he used the weapon as a club. They pushed them back. Slowly but surely, they were gaining ground.

* * *

And the world turned to fire.


	8. The Light of the World Survives

The Crucible fired. It was immense and it was immediate. It was like the biggest EMP that ever existed. The Earth was engulfed in an electrical fire.

The Reapers screamed out as one. At the impossibility. At the improbability. At the sheer pain of the end of existence. In one moment they knew what it was to fear. They knew what it was to face the extinction of their kind.

And one by one their lights went out.

The corrupted and twisted flesh of Prothean, of Asari, of Turian, of Batarian, of Krogan kind all shrieked aloud as their connection to their masters, their gods was severed. And they were mown down by the concentrated fire from the bolts of a thousand weapons.

The Sol Mass Effect Relay fired, turning night into day in the darkest depths of space. It's transfer of the sheer amount of energy from the Crucible caused it to shudder briefly and fall quiet. And around the 'verse the Relays took up the message. The Reapers fell silent. Their connection severed.

It took several minutes for the vast array of fleets to restart their engines, their life support systems, their weapons. AI and Geth short circuited, shutting down. Stopping in their tracks.

But the Reapers were down. Finished. Harbinger was silent.

They had won.

They had survived.

The Catalyst exploded. Several arms of the Citadel were taken with it.

And a cheer was heard around the globe.

And a small ship. A small, very important ship landed on the surface of the planet with very precious cargo.


	9. Awakening

"Shepard,"

…

She wanted to ignore the insistent voice and sleep forever.

…

"You need to wake up,"

…

The voice was gentle. And so very familiar.

"Liara?" Shepard frowned. But even frowning hurt.

"It is I. It worked, my dearest, my best friend."

Shepard felt the lightest touch on her brow.

"I know you are hurt, Shepard. I know you want to sleep. But you can't. Not now."

Shepard opened her eyes, and they teared up. Liara was looking down at her with a peaceful expression on her face.

"I didn't…die?" the improbability of that caused her some consternation.

"You were hurt more than a human body could ever take," Liara touched her fingertips to Shepard's cheek, "But you will heal."

"How are you here?" Shepard frowned in confusion.

"I wanted to speak to you," Liara smiled again, "And give you a gift. One last gift."

"What…"

The melding of their minds was overwhelming. Images flickered through Shepard's head. Tali. Ash. Samara. Grunt. Vega. They were fighting. They were hurt. But they were fighting. And they were alive. Garrus was reading a book beside a bed. Her bed on the Normandy. She was in the bed, curled up and sleeping. Every so often, he would reach out and touch her, as though to reassure himself she was still there. She saw Kasumi, Jacob, his wife, Michel, Hackett - all alive on the bridge of the flagship for the fleet. They were cheering, though there was something sad in the eyes of the Admiral.

And she saw the crumpled form of her dear friend. Her best friend. She saw the blood.

"Liara?" Shepard's eyes drifted closed. Too hard to keep them open.

"Yes, Shepard?"

"I…" tears collected and trailed from beneath Shepard's closed lids, "I love you."

"I know, my dearest friend," Liara kissed Shepard on the forehead, "I love you too. And now it is time to wake up. He is waiting for you."

Shepard forced her eyes open one more time.

* * *

Soft. She felt that first. Everything was soft. And hazy. She clenched her left hand, ow..but yes. It worked. The right. There was something in her hand. Something solid. She raised her left hand and it set off a series of protesting beeps and alarms from a monitor nearby.

"Huh?" a voice blearily mumbled from somewhere near her shoulder.

"Garrus?" Shepard couldn't keep the longing from her voice. She wanted to open her eyes again. But they were too heavy. It was too much.

"Shepard?" she felt him move, felt his hand clutch her own in a tighter grasp.

Tears slid, unbidden, down her cheeks, "Garrus…"

"You came home, my own love," his voice rumbled in his chest, thick with emotion.

She felt his talons touch her cheek, brushing those tears.

"You came home," he repeated, "I was waiting for you."

She reached out blindly with her left hand, and her fingertips brushed the harsh lines and contours of his face. The scarring, his fringe, his mandibles and his mouth.

"I had an order," she murmured, the effort of keeping her hand aloft was too much. It slumped to her chest and she slept. The sleep of healing.

Garrus touched the burnished copper of her hair, dull and tangled, blood streaked and dirty. She had never looked more beautiful.

"I love you, Kaya Shepard," he whispered softly.


	10. Ti Amo

The little shuttle had shut down when the Catalyst had fired. They had crashed behind 103rd lines. Ash tugged open the door of the shuttle manually and jumped down to see Javik staring with unblinking eyes at the sight of a Reaper frozen in action, its carapace flickering with red electrical fire.

"You did it. This cycle…did it," he intoned softly.

Ash was silent for a long moment, before she rested her hand briefly on Javik's shoulder.

"I'm sorry yours could not," she said finally.

"Yes. As the last of my race, I find this moment a curious mix of sadness and delight."

Ash huffs a soft laugh, "I know what you mean."

The cheers around them brought tears to her eyes. She activated her com.

"I need an evac to this position. I have the Normandy's mission pilot in need of medical assistance."

"Incoming, Lieutenant Commander," the disembodied voice intoned.

Ash turned back to the shuttle and reached down to check Cortez. She frowned.

"Cortez?" she flicked up his eyelids, "Cortez?! Steve!" She shook his shoulder, "Come on, man, you can't die. Vega would never forgive you."

His hand slid off his chest and thudded onto the floor.

"Oh…" she gasped, resting her head on the cold metal of the downed shuttle. Tears gathered, but did not spill.

* * *

Ash sprawled on the ground, her back against the wall of what was once an elegant office building. Small squads were going out, mopping up the last of the Reaper forces, but without constant reinforcement from the Reapers themselves, they were clearing them out.

She was tired. So very tired. Her rifle was slung across her knees, and tear tracks had cut through the dirt on her cheeks. Dawn had come. The first after the Reapers. A golden light fell across the ruined city.

She felt rather than saw a shadow fall across her face.

"Hey there, beautiful,"

Her eyes snapped open, and she was hesitant, "Hey…"

James Vega held a hand down, and she took it. He tugged her effortlessly to her feet, and she regarded him silently for a moment.

"I thought you were on the Normandy," all business. Safer.

"I was. We got Lola out, landed here and got her to the best hospital this place has got. Then I came out here lookin' for you lot," he shrugged his massive shoulders, a grin curving his lips.

"Shepard is alive?" Ash grasped his arm, the armour and muscle an unyielding mass.

"Yup. Our girl is tough to kill. She was plenty banged up. And some shit happened up there that messed her around. But she's been looked after and Garrus is there."

"Oh…James," Ash tried to swallow down the lump in her throat, "I…I'm sorry."

He took her hand, "Hey now. It's all good."

"It's not," Ash shakes her head, "It's Steve. He…didn't make it. I tried. I really tried…"

Vega lapsed into silence. Then, "Talk to me, girl. Let's sit here, and you talk to me." He turned his back to the wall next to her and slid down, tugging her down beside him.

And she did talk. All of it. And tears flowed. When she was finished, her head was bowed and he was silent. Her hand was still in his own, dwarfed by its size. She tried to pull away.

"It was war, _amado_," he held her hand firmly, and she gave up trying, "Many die in war. And sometimes they are our friends. Cortez was one of the best, and I will mourn his friendship. But…" he raised her hand to his lips. Her grimy, bloodstained hand, "we are here now. We are alive and you, Ashley Williams, _anoche soñé contigo y esta manana no me quiero desperta_r."

"That had better not be something that will make me want to punch you," William's gaze a small smile.

Vega smiled back, though there was sadness in his eyes, "_Mi amore_, I am going to have to teach you how to speak in my tongue." He leaned forward and kissed her gently on the lips, "Now come. You cannot sit here, you have many friends that need to see your face."

He pulled her to her feet again, his strength bolstering her own.

"We did it, _amado_, we won," his voice was soft.

"Let's go find the others,"

He reached down and handed her the rifle.

"Gonna be a beautiful morning," he smiled down at her.

"Yeah. I guess it will."


	11. Keelah'Selai

"Shepard?" the modulated voice was hesitant.

Kaya glanced up from the information tablet she was scrolling through and smiled, "Tali!"

Tali stepped hesitantly into the room. She glanced around.

"Where is Garrus?"

Shepard smiled wryly, "I told him to go get some rest. He was more exhausted than I was." She swung her legs slowly over the side of the bed and rose to full height. She winced.

Tali took a hurried pace forward, "Maybe..uhh..that isn't such a good idea, Commander. You look like you survived a ground war, only to get stomped on by a Reaper, right before you saved the universe."

Tali paused. Then her voice was rich with amusement.

"Oh wait, that really happened."

Shepard laughed, then groaned, "Come on, come have a seat by the window. I'm damn sick of that bed."

On bare feet, her long legs clad in black N7 lounge pants and a black tank top, Shepard moved slowly to the lounge chairs that bracketed the picture window. She winced as she lowered herself. Tali took the seat opposite.

"I take it you know about Liara," Tali began softly.

"Yeah," Shepard bowed her head to look at her fingers twined in her lap, "Garrus told me. She went down in battle, trying to protect the squad, but they got torn apart. I will grieve for her always."

"As will I," Tali reached out and clasped Shepard's fingers in her own, "I was resigned to not seeing you again. In that final battle. That last push. I kinda thought…this is it. This is the last time we will speak. When I saw the beacon. When I saw what you had run through…" Tali broke off.

Shepard reached out and clasped Tali by the forearm, but did not speak.

"Then you were alive. It gave me hope," Tali continued, "I was shot but…"

Shepard straightened, "What?" her voice hardened, "No one told me." She scanned her friend and realised that she did not wear her usual suit. This one was completely black. "Oh, Tali. How bad?"

"I was able to isolate the limb and flood antibiotics. It was alright, Shepard. Honestly," she paused, "I have to go to Rannoch soon. They wish all the Admirals returned as soon as the Mass Relays are announced safe."

Shepard paused, and nodded, "Yes. Yes, of course."

She sighed, "It's all going to change now. The universe doesn't need the Normandy anymore."

Tali leaned forward and touched Shepard on her bruised and battered face, "You are wrong, Shepard. We are no longer fighting the Reapers; but the Normandy and what we did? That will always live on in the minds of those who know what we accomplished. The Geth are helping to rebuild Rannoch! That is unheard of. We could never have imagined. Biospheres so we can live without our helmets - at least for short periods a day!"

Shepard smiled for her friend, but there was sadness there too. Tali stood up, and lifted her hood from her head. She keyed something on her omnitool and reached up to remove her helmet.

"Tali, no. Wait. It's not sterile here."

"This is my love and trust for you, Shepard. I want to look on you, and you to look on me without all this in the way," Tali removed the faceplate.

Shepard was struck speechless and rose to her feet, albeit more awkwardly, "You…you're beautiful."

"Thankyou, Shepard," without the voice modulator through the mask, Tali's voice was softer, "I have always thought you most attractive also."

The Quarian's features were almost feline. Her long, tilted eyes were pale golden, rimmed with black. She had no facial hair, only ridges, her nose was slightly foreshortened and it all swept up to three fringes.

Tali moved forward and embraced Kaya Shepard.

"You will live in my heart always, Commander Kaya Shepard vas Normandy. You changed my life."

Shepard stepped back a pace and studied Tali's face avidly, as though memorising those unique features, "You helped me keep my life more times than I can count, Admiral Tali'zorah vas Rannoch."

"Vas Normandy. With your permission, I should like to keep that honorific. It was once instilled on me with a thought to shame me. They could not know it was the greatest, proudest moment of my life."

"It would be my honour," Shepard's eyes glistened faintly.

Tali slid her face mask back on and tapped keys on her omnitool, "I shall see you back upon the Normandy one last time before I depart?"

"You will," Shepard nodded, "Dr Chakwas takes over my care tomorrow."

"Good," Tali nodded, "I should go."

There was a pause. And the two women laughed.

"I'm sorry, Shepard, I could not resist," the mischief in Tali's voice was palpable, "Keelah'Selai."

"And to you, Tali," Shepard smiled.

* * *

(I found the perfect Tali. art/my-wife-s-tali-zorah-redesign-in-3d-290554560 )


	12. The Memorial Wall

Shepard struggled with her formal uniform jacket. Her shoulder had been dislocated, her elbow fractured and even with her advanced synthetic implants, that stuff took time to heal. She stood there in her black N7 tank, her arms lean and muscled and stared down at the offending article of clothing clutched in her hand.

"Hey Shepard, are you just about…" Garrus' voice trailed off as he regarded her partially dressed form, "Do you require assistance?"

Shepard was silent and just handed him the jacket. He shook out the wrinkles and she turned around to let him assist with tugging the sleeves up over her injuries.

She hadn't failed to notice he was looking particularly handsome in a sleek black tunic. She took a deep breath that shuddered slightly. She knew what was to come. He paused.

"Did I hurt you?"

"No," her voice was strained, "I'm fine."

The jacket slid into position on her shoulders. For just a moment, she leaned back against the breadth of his chest. He wrapped long arms around her and drew her close. He kissed the top of her head.

"Are you alright, Shepard?" Garrus asked again softly.

"I am fine."

She stepped forward out of his embrace and moved toward the door of her cabin. She paused with a hand pressed to the cold metal, and pressed her brow to the cool metal. Her voice sounded oddly like his as it reverberated slightly, "But stay near?"

* * *

"Liara T'soni helped save our universe. She saved my butt, she saved all our butts, several times," Shepard began, her hands clutched tightly around a name plaque. This was no rousing speech before certain death, and it made her afraid. This time, she had to speak for the dead, for those who had meant everything to her.

"The universe will never truly know how much they owe her. She was a doctor of archaeology, trying to make sense of messages past," Shepard glanced toward Javik, who stood solemnly, watching proceedings with a curious eye, "She was the Shadowbroker, standing beside us and finding resources we had no chance of discovering for ourselves. She was a warrior and to the last stood up against the Reapers. And she was my friend, here to listen when I had nightmares and doubts."

She bit her lip, "I will mourn her always." She turned and pressed the nameplate with Liara T'soni on it onto the Memorial Wall. Traynor sobbed and was touched on the shoulder by Ash.

Shepard turned again, and took a deep breath. She looked toward Garrus, and he clenched a fist. He was with her. She looked then at Vega, who stood behind Ashley Williams. His face was troubled.

"Vega. You spent more time with Steve Cortez than all of us. You know how he struggled with the loss of his husband, but he found a purpose again, and you were no small part of that. He called you friend, and I remember the teasing you would both give each other if I happened to make a visit. He was a good man. A kind one and there was no better shuttle pilot I could trust with the lives of those I hold near to my heart."

"Ash, I know you blame yourself," Shepard stepped forward a pace or two and stood before the Lieutenant Commander, and new Spectre, "You cannot. He stood up to the Reapers. And sometimes, fate has either ideas. He couldn't come home to us. It's okay. He is with Robert now." She reached out and touched Ashley's hand, "He is okay."

She stepped back, and accepted the plate from Traynor. She pressed it into place below Liara's. And turned to accept the final plate.

"I was born on Mindoir. When my parents…were gone," Shepard stumbled over that part, "I joined the Alliance military as soon as I could. If it weren't for David Anderson, I would have become a cold, calculating killer. He took me on after Elysium, I was his first XO. And he taught me so much. He taught me command, he taught me compassion, and he taught me that it was alright to trust and not to blindly follow orders."

"He is the closest thing…" her voice broke, and tears splashed onto the plaque that held his name, "The only thing I had to a parent since I was fourteen." Her knuckles whitened.

"I sat with him up there. Up on the Citadel. We could see the Earth. We knew we had saved it. And we knew we were going to die," she gave a shaky half smile, "We sat beside one another and I held his hand. I was at peace. And he died."

She turned and placed the plaque in the centre of the memorial wall. 'Captain David Anderson - he died so that others might live'. She stepped back, and stared over the names. Some achingly familiar - Kaidan, Thane, Mordin, Legion, Pressly. Others had given their lives when the first Normandy was lost. She took a step back to stand with her crew. She cupped her elbow with a hand and pressed her fingertips to her mouth. She could hear quiet sobs around her. She turned to look at Garrus. He regarded her with that quiet equanimity, sadness in the depths of his bright blue gaze. And she broke protocol, broke ranks to stand before him. He enfolded her in his embrace and she accepted it in silence, taking comfort from his strength.

The crew took this as tacit permission that they no longer had to stand at attention. Vega slid a solid, muscular arm around Ashley and she leaned back against the thick wall of his chest. Tali clutched hands with Traynor. Gabby and Kenneth, all but unnoticed at the back, embraced. Karin Chakwas brushed aside a tear and was handed a handkerchief by Engineer Adams. Joker stood with EDI, his arm around her narrow, metallic waist - her AI reloaded onto the previously wiped mechanism. She rested her head upon his shoulder.

"I feel sadness, Jeff. It makes me very sad that I will not see them again,"

"Yeah," Joker replied softly, "Me too."

"I'm not sure I like this feeling. Is this what it is to feel the loss of a loved one?"

"Pretty much," Joker admitted.

"This…troubles me," EDI's voice was thoughtful.

"They will live on," the krogan growl from Wrex could be heard, "Not here on the Normandy. But they will live on when we honour them, and the way they lived their lives."

Shepard lifted her head from Garrus' shoulder, and stepped away, though she kept hold of his hand.

"One more time - I would like one more journey with you all before we must return to rebuild the galaxy. Once more when we don't have the Reaper threat hanging over our heads."

Joker nodded, "Aye aye, ma'am. Any particular destination?"

Shepard glanced around at her crew. The last time they would all be gathered together.

"To the skies, Joker. Just to the skies. Let us see the Earth and how beautiful she is before we must all leave her again,"

"Aye aye, ma'am. Head to the galaxy map and you have the con," Joker saluted sharply and limped off toward the pilot's chair, followed closely by EDI. The others saluted. "Come see us when you are ready, ma'am," Ashley William's gave a shaky smile, "For old time's sake."

Shepard was left standing with Garrus beside the memorial wall. He slid a hand over her back.

"I will be in the forward gun room, you know…calibrating," his voice was affectionate.

Shepard gave a soft laugh. She waited a moment until she was alone and brushed a hand over Anderson's plate.

"I made an effort to remember these words, guys. I'm sorry for my changes, Thane, but I hope your goddess would understand."

She took a breath:

"Kalahira, mistress of inscrutable depths, I ask forgiveness.

Kalahira, whose waves wear down stone and sand-

Kalahira, wash the sins from these people,

and set them on the distant shore of the infinite spirit.

Kalahira, their hearts are pure,

but beset by war and sacrifice.

Guide them to where the traveler never tires,

the lover never leaves, the hungry never starve.

Guide them, Kalahira,

and they will be a companion to you as they were to me."

She kissed her fingertips and touched them to each name in turn, tears sliding down her cheeks.


	13. You Have New Messages, Commander

Shepard stepped out of the elevator after visiting her cabin. She had changed, leaving her uniform tossed on the floor. She was in her old Alliance Navy uniform, with the comfortable N7 hooded jacket zipped up over her tank.

She stepped up to Traynor.

"Hey there, Traynor,"

The younger woman turned and smiled. Her eyes were sad, "That was beautiful, Commander. I never really knew Admiral Anderson, only in communiques but he was always kind. Firm but kind."

"Thank you, Traynor. I wanted to thank you for everything. What you did to stop Cerberus. I couldn't have relied on anyone else. But you have the opportunity to leave now. You were stuck here when the Reapers hit and I know it scared the hell out of you. I have your transfer ready, if you want to move on. Believe me," Shepard gave a wry smile, "I understand."

"Uhh, yeah," Traynor awkwardly rubbed the back of her neck, "I have kinda gotten used to how things work around here. And…if you want to keep me around, I would really like to stay. I mean, Cerberus are still out there. There are a lot of Reaper forces still to be mopped up, and the Normandy is still the best ship in the fleet and…"

Shepard held out a hand and laughed, "Okay, Traynor. You got it. No transfer."

Traynor let out a sigh of relief, "Thanks, Commander. Oh and uh, you have new messages on your private terminal." She saluted and turned back to her terminal as Shepard moved toward her link.

Shepard keyed in her password and several messages scrolled through. She took a deep breath and touched the first.

_From: Admiral Hackett_

_Commander Shepard,_

_When you have time, I would like you to meet me at HQ in London._

_I'm proud of you._

She paused a moment. And archived the mail.

Next.

_From: Jacqueline Naught_

_Hey Shep,_

_I'm taking my kids back to the Academy. They took a hammering in the blitz. I'm sorry I couldn't stay and say hi._

_Please. Come visit._

_Yes, I fucking said please._

_—J_

_PS. I'm also fucking glad you are still alive._

Shepard laughed, and tapped some keys on her omnitool. Done.

_From: The Queen of Omega_

_I'm back._

_And I owe you._

_Come see me._

Shepard frowned. Next.

_From: Miranda_

_I have a proposition for you. Come see me. Coordinates will be sent when you open the Prothean's pod._

Eden Prime. Check.

_From: Liara T'Soni_

Shepard gasped. Traynor looked up, concerned. Shepard shook her head and read on.

_Kaya. I never call you that. We are friends and yet, I always called you 'Shepard' or 'Commander'. Seems so strange now. I'm protecting a squad of marines sent to secure an evacuation point. I know you are somewhere running toward almost certain death. It's what we do, isn't it?_

_If I never get the chance to tell you, I want to say, it has been a privilege to know you, Kaya. I somehow feel we wont speak again._

_I have one favour to ask of you, if you walk away from this. My father. Matriarch Aethyta. Could you speak to her? Just..tell her that I regret I never had the chance to know her._

_Thank you, Shepard._

_Goddess go with you always_

Shepard wiped her eyes, and tapped a few keys on her omnitool. The message appeared on the HUD and disappeared from view on the screen. Saved. Always. She took a deep breath before accessing the next.

_From: Zaeed Massani_

_Not a bad little war. Got to blow some shit up. Gotta say that was a whole lotta fun. See you on Omega sometime. The Blue Suns gotta surprise coming._

She shook her head.

_From Eve:_

_/scan attached/_

_Thankyou, Shepard. Her name is Mordin._

Shepard touched the link. A scan downloaded, fuzzy at first then gaining clarity. A little krogan infant, fresh from its egg, clearly howling for sustenance. Ugly little thing, but all the more beautiful for it. Shepard touched the screen and typed a reply.

_From: Shepard_

_I couldn't think of a better name._

And the last:

_From: Garrus Vakarian_

_Calibrations have lost their allure. Hurry?_

Shepard smiled and closed the terminal.

"Everything alright, Commander?" Traynor asked.

"Just fine, Traynor. Just fine."


	14. Earth Flight- Dr Chakwas

"Hey, Doc," Shepard greeted hesitantly as she entered the medbay.

"Shepard," Chakwas rose from her seat and stood before the Commander, "How are you feeling?"

"Stiff. Sore. Y'know," Kaya shrugged.

"Come on. I might as well check you out while you are here," Chakwas moved toward a bed and patted it briefly before turning to select her scanning instruments.

"You came to the Citadel to get me off."

"I did," Karin Chakwas set the scanner over Shepard's worst wounds.

"That was a brave thing."

"Compared to being stuck in those Collector pods, it seemed like a piece of cake."

"We have a lot of folks to stop being bad guys. They might seem like that piece of cake compared to Reapers."

"It will seem like a holiday."

"So…" Shepard paused, "You want to stay on?"

"I have that bottle of Ice Brandy."

"I will take that as a yes."

Shepard slid off the med bed and wrapped the startled doctor in an embrace, "Thankyou."

"You're…welcome, Shepard."

"Don't leave."

"Don't plan on it," the Doctor drawled in reply, breaking the embrace and walked to a small refrigerated cabinet, "Mordin Solus sent me the formula for something for you. It helps with allergic reactions to dextro fluids."

Shepard's cursed Scots pale freckled features went red. Chakwas touched her chin.

"I'm not judging, Shepard. He's a good man."

Shepard cleared her throat.

"But there is no cure for incompatible procreation," Chakwas' eyes were sharp.

"I know," Shepard's voice was flat, "Believe me, I know."

She left the medbay.


	15. Earth Flight - Ashley Williams

"So, when did Vega eventuate?" Shepard limped into the starboard suite and levered herself onto one of the couches.

Ashley Williams had a look of cherubic innocence as she lounged against the wall of the sky window.

"No idea what you are talking about, Commander."

"Did you just lie to your commanding officer, Williams?"

"No, ma'am," Ash grinned, and sprawled onto couch cushions next to Shepard. She stretched her legs out and crossed them, resting her hands on her belly. She drew in a deep breath.

"He's…passionate," she continued, a little bewildered, "He lets his feelings for everything just show, doesn't worry that anyone will think less of him. His tattoos…they are a part of everything he is. I always thought they were just machismo, a show of muscle flexing. You know?"

"Yeah, Williams, I know," Shepard's smile is wry.

"Oh yeah. Garrus has those..uh…" Ash waved her hand over her face.

"Clan markings, yeah," Shepard clarified, and sighed, "Vega has his own clan markings. It's different to what Garrus identifies with, but its no less important."

"He has an N7 tattoo,"

"Yeah, he got that on the Citadel from a batarian."

"It's background is this blue wing. Almost glows in low light,"

Shepard frowns at Ashley, "What?"

"Its you, Shepard. You are part of his clan. Blue wings."

"Huh,"

"Better than your face on his ass,"

"It's a good ass,"

"Still not a good place," Ash grinned.

"True," Shepard agreed with equanimity and relaxed into the couch.

Ashley was silent for a long while and they watched the sky float past.

"I don't have words right now," Ash began again.

"You don't have to, Williams."

"Yeah, I do."

Shepard turned her head to look at her fellow Spectre.

"I'm shite at words, better at killing things at a hundred paces with a rifle. But my dad taught me the right words."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Was from this writer back in the 20th. He said 'A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands what you have become and still, gently, allows you to grow'."

"Good words,"

"You let me grow, Shepard. You accepted what I said on Horizon, and did not hate me. You accepted me back,"

Kaya Shepard reached out and grasped Ash's hand, "After Eden Prime, I realised your dislike of alien cultures. It troubled me at first. Then I watched you work with Liara…" she paused and felt Ashley tighten her grip on her hand, "And Garrus, Tali, Wrex… you had no choice but to fight alongside."

"But in choosing your squads, for their strengths and in spite of their weaknesses, you created a camaraderie."

"I had to."

"Not many could, Shepard. And you changed me."

Shepard grasped Ashley's hand fiercely.

"And you saved me too, Ash. I could not have done what I did without you there. Right beside me."

"Yeah. You could. But I helped. A little."

Shepard levered herself slowly off the couch, "You will love being a Spectre now. If you ever need me, just call."

"Believe me, I will."

Shepard smiled crookedly and exited the room.


	16. Earth Flight - Wrex and Vega

Shepard stepped into the shuttle bay. Wrex and James were seated comfortably on chairs from the crews quarters. Goddess knows, no one would actually demand their return. And the table that had held Vega's weapons was swiped clean. They were arm wrestling. Shepard sighed.

"Really?" she drawled, leaning against a metal pylon.

"Winner takes all, Shepard," Vega gasps out, his face faintly reddened from effort.

"You know she took down a thresher maw. On foot?" Wrex drawled in reply, barely demonstrating effort.

"Child's play," Vega gasped.

Shepard sighed, keyed up her omnitool and brought up a particular scan.

"Hey Wrex," she thrust the visual in front of him, "She has your nose."

Wrex was distracted, "What?" Vega slammed his arm down on the table. And jumped up, hooting with laughter.

"Hell yeah, hermano! I just beat a krogan in an arm wrestle!"

"You cheated!" Wrex protested, rising to his feet.

Shepard grinned.

"Lola has my back. Didn't know you cared, Commander," Vega was all charm.

"Do a Commander a favour, Vega, and go find another Spectre on board this ship. I need to talk to the krant leader here."

"Aye aye, Commander Lola," Vega saluted in a way that seemed incredibly inappropriate and yet curved a smile on his face.

Waiting until the soldier was gone, Wrex growled, "Insubordinate."

"He lost his best friend, Wrex," Shepard soothed softly.

"And you helped him cheat."

"You got to see your little girl."

Wrex grinned, "Yeah. She's a beauty. Let me see her again."

Shepard keyed her omnitool.

"Ahh, fierce and proud. Just like her mama and daddy."

Shepard transferred the file to Wrex's omnitool.

"Thanks," he muttered and shut it down, "I can't stay out here long, Shepard. I have to get back."

Shepard sighed, "Yeah, I know. Just wanted to tell you, I'm going to fight for those new territories for you and your people."

She leaned forward, "I know this might mean shit coming from a human, but…learn from your past Wrex. Don't let it repeat."

Wrex stood suddenly and stalked to the empty bay where the Hammerhead once stood, "From any other human, I would call bullshit. But you, Shepard, from you I will take that."

He held out his hand, thumb up. Shepard clasped it, not as a shake, but as a clasp soldier to soldier. She stepped forward so their fists bumped heart to heart.

"And because it is you, I know you will listen," she slapped him firmly on the shoulder, her hand stinging as she lowered it to her side.

"My people will talk for generations of the Shepard."

"Hell, Wrex," Shepard protested, embarrassed.

"Deal, kid. You saved us,"

"Then make sure they fully fucking respect the name of Kalros again," Kaya demanded.

"Oh you can bet on it. A worm taking down a fucking Reaper. There are war chants about that already!"

Shepard laughed and released her almost numb fingers from the krogan's grasp.

"Don't be a stranger, okay?"

"You can bet on it, Shepard. We will let you witness the Rite of Passage when you visit next!"

Shepard winced.

"Kidding," Wrex grinned at her.

"Bastard."

"I know,"

Shepard punched him on the shoulder, and shook her hand as she walked out of the shuttle bay.

Her heart beat harder as she realised Cortez was not there to greet. She put her head down and slammed her fist on the controls to the elevator.


	17. Earth Flight - EDI and Joker

"There was great sadness in the room," EDI intoned, standing in a posture of uncertainty before Joker.

"It was a moment to be sad," Joker acknowledged, leaning heavily on the back of his pilots chair.

"If you were to die, would I feel that for you, Jeff?"

"I don't know. I don't know what you feel for me, EDI."

"Feelings. They are a human reaction to external stimulus, Jeff."

"Yeah, I know," Joker's reply was dry, and he shifted the chair to seat himself.

EDI stays his movement, her grasp strong and sure on his arm, "I feel that for you, Jeff. If you were to not sit there anymore. If I could not talk to you. I would be sad."

Joker lapses into uncharacteristic silence.

"Jeff?"

"Yeah, I'm trying to come to terms with the idea that my girlfriend is an AI."

"I am your girlfriend, Jeff?"

"Yeah. My mum is going love this explanation," Joker leaned forward and kissed EDI on her cold, metallic lips.

Her eyes drifted closed, and she slid her arms around his neck.

After a moment they paused.

"I'm sorry, Jeff. I seem to have a virus in my mainframe."

Joker cleared his throat. Covering a laugh.

"No, EDI. That was just fine. Just fine."

Shepard smiled, and backed out of the room before they could see her.


	18. Earth Flight - Tali

"I will be landing on Rannoch in a few days,"

Shepard could hear Tali speaking to someone over the com.

"That is good to hear, Admiral,"

She recognised the voice of Admiral Shala'Raan.

"I have things to take care of here, then I can commit entirely to the rebuilding of Rannoch."

"Tali…" Shala began, then paused.

"I will see you there."

Tali shut off the com and leaned over the console, her shoulders slumped.

"Are you alright, Tali?" Shepard asked, pausing behind the Quarian.

Tali shook her head, her voice bleak, "Not really."

"Can I help?" Shepard put a hand on Tali's shoulder.

"It's really all ending, isn't it Shepard?" Tali turned and leaned back against her console.

"Yeah," Shepard agreed, mimicking the Quarian's posture, crossing her arms loosely.

"Fighting the Reapers was terrifying. Absolutely the worst time I could imagine," Tali murmured, "But this. The whole of Quarian society is going to change. Who we are, what we could become. Because of you."

"Tali…"

"No, Shepard. It's true. You built the treaty. You worked with Legion and with the Admirals. You showed them that there was a better way. And because of that, we might one day be able to walk around without our suits," Tali shifted, "And I'm so scared. So scared that we might do the wrong thing. That we might ruin it all."

"Tali. You are a good person. One of the best. You stood up for what was right when others were too afraid," Shepard replied firmly, "Don't lose that and don't ever forget, you earned that position on the Admiralty board. You are just as good as they are. You have been under fire."

Tali nodded slowly.

"And do me a favour," Shepard leaned forward with a twinkle in her eyes, "Look up Kal'Reegar vas Neema. His voice was pretty hot."

"Shepard…" Tali's voice was embarassed. And she cleared her throat, "It kinda was, wasn't it."

"I will come visit. I promise."

"You had better,"

Shepard squeezed Tali's hand and straightened, "I should…"

"Go?" Tali finished.

"Yeah," Shepard grinned, "I have to check on some calibrations."

"Give him a hug for me," Tali turned back to her console, "And Shepard, thankyou."

"You're welcome."


	19. Earth Flight - Garrus

Garrus leaned against his console, watching Kaya pace, his heart hitching a little with every limp. By the Spirits, the woman was sexy as hell.

"Shepard?"

Kaya kicked the door, and turned to face him. Anger was glimmering in her eyes.

"Uh oh," Garrus nearly took a step back, "What's wrong?" He held up his hands, palms out in a gesture of peace.

"Nothing," she snapped with annoyance.

"Nothing?" he seemed relieved. Then paused. Frowned, "But you have a mad on. Did I do something…?"

Kaya stalked toward him and clenched her fist in his tunic.

"I'm not angry. I'm…"

"You are so sad, you cannot express yourself but with anger," Garrus' voice was gentle.

"I don't know what to do here, Garrus. You and I made sense when the world was mad. When we could be here, and our relationship was under no scrutiny from the outside world. But that has changed. You, I know you are a little closer to the Primarchy than you care to admit. And you will have to leave…me…and go to Palaven to help rebuild. And I am still Alliance military. Still a Spectre. Still N7. Should we admit it would be too hard? Should we say that we had our time, and look back upon these days as another life?" her hand splayed over his heart and she stared up at him, unable to step back.

Garrus made a soft sound in his chest, "When you approached me on the Normandy, it took me a little while to understand. I'm not..the most clued in of turians when it comes to matters of the heart." He covered her hand with one of his own.

"But when we finally get it," he reached up with a talon and traced a line from her brow to her jawline to her chin, "It's forever."

Shepard was silent, uncertain.

"You have always been so confident, my love," Garrus continued, "Always the one with the right answer, the right thing to say. Now, it's my turn to give it a shot."

He took her hands in his own and she allowed it, unresisting, still watching him warily.

"You are my clan, Kaya Shepard. Without you, I am not Garrus Vakarian. Without me, you are not Kaya Shepard. There is no Vakarian without Shepard," he squeezed the hand over his heart, "You live here. All the time. I could travel to Palaven today, and tomorrow you resume your duties as Spectre and Alliance Commander. But at the centre of it, at the heart of it, it would not matter where you had to go…"

Garrus rested his forehead against her own.

"…you are in my heart. And that is all that matters."

There is silence. A long silence.

"Shepard?"

"Damn…" she murmured, her voice thick with tears. She crept her arms around his lean waist and stepped into his embrace.

Garrus enfolded her. His arms were long; though she was no tiny waif, he encircled her easily and tugged her toward him. Just a little closer.

"If you want angry sex, I can oblige," he growled softly, "But if you just want to be with me, I'm here."

"I want you, Vakarian," Shepard touched his features with tenderness, "I'm feeling a little lost here. My purpose is…I don't know. My purpose is gone now."

Garrus fluttered his mandibles, "I could pretend your purpose was to be here with me, but I know better than that. My dearest, darling human…" he kissed the top of her head, "The Reapers were a threat. A pretty damn big threat. And you kicked their collective asses."

She shifted in his embrace.

"But this is a big galaxy. With a lot of trouble. The Illusive Man is dead, but he had a lot of people still …"

Garrus was quieted by a set of human lips stilling his own. He murmured, and tightened his embrace.

She slid her hands along his mandibles, then through his fringe. His voice rumbled in his chest. He slid strong hands under her thighs and sat her on his console.

She wrapped her arms around him, her tongue toying erotically with his own. She whimpered and wrapped her legs around his hips, then made a sound that was not pleasure, but pain.

Garrus pulled back, concern etched over his features.

"You are still hurt," he growled, displeasure at his own lack of control evident in his voice.

Shepard slowly slid off the console, and had to hold onto him with one hand while she maintained footing, "Not quite up to sex on the console, I'm afraid."

"Yeah, and uh…you nearly activated the Thanix with your butt, Commander," the voice through the com was dryly amused.

Joker.

"Do I need to hurt you, Joker?"

"A thumb wrestle would hurt me, Commander."

"Remember that. And turn off this channel."

"Aye aye."

Shepard was red. Very red.

Garrus traced a taloned finger down her cheek, "Your bed was always more comfortable."

"You can bring the damn wine," she twisted a fist in his tunic and tugged him close, "But I get to pick the music."

"Deal," Garrus drawled, and tugged her right leg up by his hip and leaned her back just a little, "Make it a tango."

Shepard kissed him fiercely for a moment, "Done."


	20. No Rest For The Wicked

_**Two months later**_

Shepard sat in her quarters with one booted foot on the desk. She flicked a stylus through her knuckles and rubbed her chin with the other hand. Impatience was in evident in every line of her form. Her knee jiggled briefly and her gaze turned toward the framed holo on her desk. Garrus stared out of it at her, with what she knew to be a smile upon his face. She stilled enough to trace the beloved features with her fingertips.

"Miss you," she murmured, before distraction came in the form of a message scrolling through on her terminal.

_FROM: VEGA_

_Hey Lola. Thought you might like to know - I got my N7 designation. Near on kicked my ass. If you can get a message to Ash, can you let her know? She went deep undercover a month ago but I figured one Spectre might know where another went? I'm hopin' I can get an assignment somewhere soon. If there is a Commander in need of a decent XO?_

Shepard frowned. Ash was on a mission? She tapped her fingertip on her knee thoughtfully. It took a moment before she sent off a message to Hackett, then another to Council. She figured they owned her one or six. There was barely a minute before she was interrupted.

"_Commander_?" the disembodied voice of Traynor came over the com. Shepard opened the channel and replied.

"Traynor?"

"_Admiral Hackett is requesting a holo-call in the conference room, Commander_,"

"Aye aye, tell him I'm on my way," Shepard stood, touched her fingertips to Garrus in farewell and headed out.

"Admiral Hackett?" Shepard stood to attention.

"_Commander Shepard, I just read your message._" Hackett's voice reverberated around the room.

"Yes sir," Shepard nodded, that was fast.

"_You wish for James Vega to be assigned to the Normandy as it's XO?_" Hackett sounded faintly disapproving, "_His last chance at command did not end quite so well, Shepard_."

"He's a good man, Admiral. And he would be a good leader, given time,"

_"Mmm, alright, Shepard. You can pick him up on Tuchanka. He was just completing the last stage of his training there_."

"Thank you, sir,"

_"One more thing, Shepard,_" Hackett was staring down at a tablet in his hands, "_Once you have Vega, I want you to head to Eden Prime. I got an encrypted message from who I can only assume is Miranda Lawson. There is some suggestion that Cerberus forces are gathering for something in the Terminus Systems. They are taking advantage of the decimation that the batarians took during the the Reaper Invasion."_

"Yes, sir," Shepard nodded sharply, "She sent me a message asking to meet me a few weeks ago - I just..hadn't had the chance."

"_Good. Keep it quiet though. Make it look like some kind of diplomacy mission. Checking on how the human colony is faring,_"

"Aye sir,"

"_One you have finished there, Palaven has requested your presence. Their Primarch wishes to publically acknowledge before all of the turian hierarchy, your role and the role of human kind in the survival of their homeworld."_

"Sir, I…"

_"I believe you have someone you wish to see there, Shepard,"_

Shepard just cleared her throat.

_"Good. Then don't take too long on Eden Prime."_

"No, sir. I will get to Eden Prime with all haste."


	21. An New XO from Tuchanka

"Hey Commander, check me out," the grin on Vega's face was huge. He really did look all kinds of impressive in his N7 kit. Shepard let out a flirtatious whistle and twirled her finger in a circle. He spread his arms and complied.

"Very nice, XO," Shepard folded her arms across her chest.

"And I owe a whole heap to you, Lola," James, while using her teasing nickname, was entirely serious.

"You got through N7 all on your ownsome there, Vega," Shepard held out her hand. He gripped it firmly, and she almost winced, "Congratulations, Lieutenant Commander."

"Thanks, Commander," Vega grinned a little self-consciously and glanced toward the shuttle, "Wait. You just said XO."

"Better get your ass ready, Vega, you got yourself some responsibility."

"Well, dayum!" Vega drawled, "And here I thought it was just a shot in the dark."

"Good shot, LC. Get your ass on board and send the shuttle back. I need to catch up with a couple of old friends," Shepard punched Vega on the shoulder, "You have Liara's old quarters." She paused and laid her hand gently on the solid muscle beneath, "Look after it."

Vega grasped her hand in reply, "I won't ever forget what we lost, Commander. I know we can't get the old crew back, but I promise you, I won't forget."

"You're a good man, Vega. Go check in with Javik. He has been bored without you."

"Javik is still around?"

"His only home is the Normandy, he said. I didn't have the heart to change that. Plus, the man can kick serious ass," Shepard replied wryly.

"I will introduce him to Krogan beer."

"Oh god," Shepard raised her hand to her forehead.

"Don't worry, Lola, I promise to put him to bed afterwards."

Shepard just shook her head as Vega got into the shuttle.

* * *

She cradled the sleeping krogan infant in her arms.

"Ok, for one of your sprogs, Wrex, she's a cute little thing,"

"Morda is beautiful," Wrex protested, leaning back in his chair.

"Morda?" Shepard looked up, brow knitted.

"Girly for Mordin. Couldn't saddle the future of Tuchanka with the name of a Salarian. It's enough of a memory that we know…and she will know."

Shepard slid a fingertip down Morda's nose. The infant krogan squinched her face.

"What about you, Shepard? Any plans for offspring?"

Shepard was silent for long moment, pretending she didn't notice sharply intelligent krogan eyes upon her relaxed features.

"No," she answered finally, "I'm not…built for this. This spending every minute thinking of another being more than you think of yourself."

"You think of the turian that way," came the blunt reply.

"Yes. And no. Garrus is his own man. We have not seen each other in two months. He is on Palaven, I have been shuttling between Earth and the Citadel. And now the Mass Effect relays are operational, I'm back on the clock as a Spectre."

"But don't you want to…like…breed?"

"Honestly?" Shepard looked up, "No.I mean…Morda is cute and all, but it doesn't exactly set a hankering for me to follow suit just because I have myself a long term relationship."

"What does Garrus think about that?"

Shepard wrinkled her nose, "No damn idea. It's not like it has come up. I'm not…mother material. I'm not trying to duck and cover, Wrex. All your people wanted to be was parents because they couldn't. I was okay choosing the life I did because I was perfectly fine with not having children. I want to be N7, I never expected to become a Spectre. I just…did. Cooking fried eggs and doing laundry for the family doesn't even come into the picture."

Wrex snorted with laughter, "No, I could see that. And here I assumed there was some genetic programming for you females."

Shepard grinned crookedly, "I guess I missed that bit of cybernetics."

"For what it's worth Shepard, I think you would make a kick ass mother,"

"From you, Wrex, as a kick ass father, I take that as a compliment," Shepard smiled down at the little infant, "I promise you, kid, if your parents want you to learn how to take down a reaper with a thresher maw, I'm your girl."

She rose to her feet and handed Morda back to her father. He cradled her with infinite gentleness.

"Thanks for looking out for Vega,"

"He's a tough son of a bitch. Took down a squad of krogan who decided to challenge for my position. He didn't need much looking after."

"A whole squad?" Shepard raised a brow.

"I may have had a hand in that."

"Wrex…" Shepard lapsed into silence, and touched Wrex on the arm.

"You don't have to say a word, little sister. He was your krantt. I gave him no favours. I wanted him to prove himself beyond doubt. He became squad leader that day and earned it. I just threw him a challenge."

"Urdnot Wrex, you are a big gruff teddy bear."

"What the hell is a teddy bear?" Wrex was perplexed.

Shepard just grinned and thudded her forehead into his armoured plate.

"You would hate it."

"Anytime you need my help, Shepard, just ask."

"And because you would give it, I would only ask it if I had no other option," Shepard slapped him then on the shoulder. The half tonne of krogan muscle barely registered the hit, but he sheltered his daughter nonetheless.

"You wake her, woman, and you can calm her down," he scowled, staring down at the little face.

Shepard held up her hands in silence, grinned and backed out of the room.

* * *

"Heya," Shepard greeted, as she watched Vega wander around the shuttle bay. He had paused before Cortez's workstation.

"Hey, Lola," Vega picked up a photograph frame and stared down at the image of Cortez with his husband framed within. Shepard figured it was from the wedding.

"It's different," she commented softly.

"Yeah,"

"Seems empty. We have a new pilot, but…"

"She's a kid. I met her. Fresh outta the academy," Vega shook the frame a little, "You mind?"

"No. It makes sense. But different."

"Yeah," Vega walked toward Shepard and she could see how the Reaper invasion and N7 training had rubbed off some of the rough edges.

"We head to Eden Prime next. Miranda Lawson has some word on Cerberus."

"They are still active?"

"Apparently."

"Okay. Will be good to go," Vega jerked his head in the affirmative, then saluted, "Commander.."

"Keep it at Lola, Vega. You have earned it."

He grinned, "You got it."

* * *

"Hey you," Shepard leaned on weary arms and her eyes avidly traced his familiar features.

"I'm missing you," the reverbed voice of the turian general was further distorted by distance and damaged communications equipment.

"I'm coming your way in a week,"

"I heard. Wear your dress blues, my love,"

Shepard wrinkled her nose, "Why the ceremony?"

"You saved us," Garrus shifted nearer the screen, "My people rarely confer honour upon alien species."

Shepard smiled slightly, "Just for you, I will play ball."

"How long can you stay?"

"A few days"

"Then we will make the most of them."

Shepard reached out and touched the screen. Garrus mirrored the action, and across light years they connected.

"Its getting easier to say," she confessed.

"What is?"

"I miss you. I love you,"

"Easier by the day."

"I will update you after Eden Prime,"

"Stay safe, Commander Kaya Shepard. I seem to be still in love with you."

"And you, General Garrus Vakarian. I have many plans for those few days."

"I will clear my schedule."

Shepard laughed. And they closed their connection. She stared up at the multitude of models that decorated the transparent walls of her cabin. Each one had a memory. She tilted her head back and glanced up as her private terminal beeped.

FROM: MIRANDA LAWSON

Hurry.

Shepard raised a hand to her brow. Shit.


	22. Eden Prime - Just the Beginning

The arcologies were burned out but the fields were green once again. Small settlements had sprung up around these massive fields that were used to get food back to Earth.

"It looks like its on the way to recovery," Vega commented.

"It's listed as having three thousand two hundred and nine adults, and five children under the age of nine. No infants on record," EDI read off the data with her modulated tones.

"Gotta start somewhere," the XO commented, "Alright, we'll take the shuttle. Looks like their landing pad won't take the weight of the Normandy yet."

"Takes some gettin' used to," Joker commented drily.

"What's that, amigo?"

"You as the XO. Shepard hasn't had one since Pressly died. Guess she must have trusted you not to screw it up,"

"Huh," Vega huffed a thoughtful sound, "Didn't think on that one. I was thinking she would have taken some down time after the Reapers. Y'know, just…" he shrugged "took it easy for a while."

"She ain't never taken it easy, LC. If we are heading out this way, there is a reason for it. Hackett wouldn't have just sent her out here to admire the pastoral vista."

"Pastor…what?" Vega screwed up his face.

Joker grinned, "Forget it, city boy. She's military, through and through. If someone out here needs her to do her job, she will."

"What about Garrus?"

"And what about Ashley?"

"Point…" Vega shrugged, "Alright, Joker, you gotta point."

EDI's voice interrupted them, "We are being hailed, Jeff."

"Ahem," Joker cleared his throat, "This is the Normandy requesting permission to send a shuttle with Commander Shepard, Lieutenant Commander James Vega and Javik…Prothean to Constant landing pad."

"Mr Moreau," the flat vowels of Miranda Lawson's voice came over the com, "Is Commander Shepard available?"

"Hey Miranda," Joker wrinkled his nose, "She's down in the shuttle bay getting ready to make the landing."

"Get her pilot to land at the remnants of the Sydney Arcology. It would save time."

"Aye, aye," Joker replied, as the connection was severed, "Charmed as ever, Miss Lawson."

* * *

Pilot Elizabeth Thompson set them down near the charred remains of the arcology. She whistled, "Damn, Commander. The Reapers did that?"

"Cerberus did that," Shepard replied flatly as she activated her Revenant, "Stay sharp, I don't know what's going on but if Miranda is here, it can't be good. Pilot Thompson, stay here, but keep the comms up. You may need to make a fast departure.

The officious young woman with green still a shiny patina on her, saluted smartly. Shepard nodded in reply and jumped down to land in the dirt beside Vega and Javik. She closed the hatch of the shuttle and took a breath.

"Back on the clock, people," Shepard murmured, her hands tightening on her weapon.

"You okay, Shepard,"

"Just fine, Vega," her voice was sharp. Sharper than it needed to be, "Keep your eyes up."

"Aye, sir," Vega nodded, but narrowed his eyes thoughtfully.

Shepard activated her omnitool, "The beacon she set is over this way."

* * *

Miranda was leaning on a low wall, her long legs crossed at the ankle. Her lithe body was clad in a dark green bodysuit, weapons harnass strapped firmly into place. She straightened as Shepard entered the broken room.

"Shepard," Miranda's voice was calm, "Thank you for coming."

"It sounded urgent."

"I'm…not completely sure," she jerked her head toward the interior of the arcology.

"Vega, Javik, stay out here, I don't..trust this place."

"Sir,"

"As you wish, Commander,"

Shepard followed Miranda in silence for a while.

"I lost all of my contacts within Cerberus after the Reapers hit. Most of them died but some have dropped off the map. My last communique was to check this place."

"What did you find?"

"When the people of Eden Prime were turned into husks and…" Miranda frowned, "Wait, you know that. You had to put them down. Never mind. Anyway, the people, in rebuilding Eden Prime, buried the husks in mass graves."

"Sure, makes sense."

"When I got here, one of the graves had been dug up, and the corpses removed."

"What? Cerberus dug up the corpses?" Shepard wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"Looks like it,"

"Shit," Shepard rubbed her brow, "If they are investigating the way the Reapers made the husks… holy hell."

"The Illusive Man was a figurehead of Cerberus, but there are many others who would stop at nothing to see humanity rising to power. People who can be more vicious without the twisted indoctrination of Harbinger. In many ways, The Illusive Man tempered their …enthusiasm. Look at what happened to Jack. He shut down that facility."

"So Cerberus are a high tech organisation now without brakes."

"It would seem to the be case."

Shepard scrubbed her face with her hands, "And here I was hoping it would have just been a bunch of pirates playing at being big shots."

"No," Miranda's smiled faintly, though it held little amusement.

"Where are you going now?"

"I have a lead to check out on Elysium,"

Shepard looked startled, "What?"

"I will send you word when I have spoken to them."

"Damn, I have to go to Palaven and play politics for Hackett. I will see if I can cut short the visit."

Miranda paused, "I'm sorry to bring you in on this, Shepard. If anyone needs a rest from saving the galaxy, it's you. But, if Cerberus are focusing in the Terminus Systems, it could mean something very bad for the Batarians."

"You did the right thing, Miranda," Shepard hefted the rifle onto her shoulder, "I did enough to screw over the Batarians. I need to help make it right."

* * *

"We need to get to Palaven," Shepard strode out of the ruins. Javik and Vega fell into pace behind her, "Then we are heading for the Skyllian Verge."

The two men glanced at each other.

"Commander, what is going on?" Javik's low voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Cerberus are about to play silly buggers with the Batarians."

"Ah," Vega drawled, "You couldn't have picked a mission where we rescue a small fluffy kitten from a tree could you, Lola?"

"I could arrange one for you, if you like, Vega?" Shepard quirked a smile at him over her shoulder.

"Hah," Vega chuckled.

"Heading your way for pickup, Thompson," Shepard spoke into her com.

"Yes, sir," came the reply.


	23. Palaven - Heart to Heart

_(Finally a little Garrus/Shepard time! Keeping it within clean parameters - though there is a much…ahem…more detailed version in my head_)

* * *

Shepard stared around the apartment. This was where Garrus lived. Huh. She dumped her duffle on the floor of the sitting room. Everything was militaristic. She undid the top two buttons of her formal uniform and breathed deep.

Garrus appeared from the kitchen area and handed her a tube containing an icy cold drink. She accepted gratefully and drank deeply.

"Was that really that bad?" his voice was rich with amusement.

"I suppose not," she smiled faintly, and glanced down at the heavy medal that weighted her chest. The Nova Cluster — awarded for bravery in the face of enormous odds. One of the highest that the Turian military awarded to an individual soldier. The second was a small bar, unexpected and now adorned the chest of every crew member that had served upon the Normandy. The Galactic Unit Citation, awarded for gallantry during time of war above and beyond duty.

"Congratulations, Captain Shepard," Garrus stepped forward and touched the shiny new bars that decorated her shoulder boards. They had been conferred upon her by Admiral Hackett in a holovid during the ceremony. She wasn't sure, but she was fairly certain he had teared up a little.

"Congratulations yourself, General. I hear you are to take charge of rebuilding the turian fleets. That's quite an honour," Kaya reached out to rest her hand on his face.

Garrus' nimble fingers undid the remaining fasteners on her tunic and slid his hand inside to touch bare skin. Her skin rippled with goosebumps and she sighed.

"This would be the time to take me to bed, General,"

"Bedding the hero of the galaxy," Garrus drawled, "An honour I could get behind."

She slid her hands around his narrow waist and lower, then tugged him closer so they stood chest to chest, groin to groin, legs almost entangled.

"Speaking of bedding," she murmured, a breath's distance from his lips, "Yours had better be comfortable. I don't plan on leaving it for the next eight hours."

He gave the turian equivalent of a sly smile, "Oh, it's comfortable." He slid his fingers into her hair, scratching her scalp lightly in a way that made her eyes close in pleasure. His hard lips brushed her own, the lightest trace of his tongue across the soft pillow of her lower lip. She murmured her approval and slid her hands up over his tunic to link behind his neck. She tugged his head closer and they kissed with a fierceness brought by separation and distance. After many long moments, they broke apart, eyes dazed with arousal.

"I'm not going to ravish your body on the floor in this spartan damn sitting room," Shepard growled.

"Ravish? I like the sound of that," Garrus slid a hand down to link with her own, then backed up. He turned to lead the way to his bedroom.

She kicked the door shut behind her.

* * *

They lay naked and entwined. His fingertips traced over her back, the smoothness of her skin a constant fascination for him. She had laid her head upon the hard, metallic plate covering his right pectoral. She splayed her hand over his heart, under her chin, feeling its rapid thud. Her copper hair was in a messy tangle over her faintly flushed face. They lay in companionable silence, the only light from the setting sun. Menae was visible in the sky. She stared out at it, before finally speaking.

"I have to leave in the morning," her voice was full of regret. She felt Garrus shift under her.

"What?" he sounded surprised and a little annoyed.

"Cerberus. They dug up a pile of husk corpses, and have been active out in Batarian space,"

She could feel his silence. This one was heavy. She felt she owed him more.

"When we destroyed that relay, we hurt a lot of their people. Not just the ones we killed, but we doomed them when the Reapers came. No one was coming to their aid, and I knew that when I made that decision," Shepard's expression was grim and she fisted her hand over his heart. He reached up to clasp it in his own.

"Shepard," he began, "You don't owe anyone anything. Not the Batarians. Not the Citadel. No one. You paid back in spades."

"It's not about paying back," she began, and sighed, "…it's about doing what is right. Cerberus represent all that humanity could be if it became twisted and destroyed by technology. We are better than that. We don't need what they are doing to take our place with the Citadel races."

Garrus slid his arm around her shoulders and gathered her closer. His lips rested upon her brow, and she held him closer too, "I can't follow you on this one, Shepard." His voice was pained. "Palaven needs me. But I need you. So badly. Can you really not stay?"

"For now, I have to do this," she raised her head to look into his face, "I will come back as often as I can."

"But when you need me out there…ask," he gazed fiercely into her eyes, "The Turian Hierarchy owes me a little something too. And if my girlfriend needs my help, if Captain Shepard needs my help, I will come."

Kaya smiled then, and kissed her, "I know you will."

She slid up to kneel above him, curved against ridged and metallic, "So we should take advantage of the time we have left."

He slid his calloused, hard ridged hands up over her thighs and she shivered, "Oh, I'm sure I can rise to the occasion…"

"Mmmm," she leaned forward and slid her tongue over his own, rocking her hips against him, "I think I will come back very soon…"


	24. Skyllian Verge - Elysium - Spectres

Shepard sat on the hard couch in Garrus' living room and flicked through the information on her datapad. She idly checked reports, mails and advertisements for penis enlargements. How is it that those spammers could get their way through Alliance decryption? Not that she minded. It was a small amusement.

Her link updated.

_FROM: ASHLEY WILLIAMS_

_Shepard. Can you meet me on Elysium? It's important._

She wished she was surprised. The Skyllian Verge. Ashley on assignment there. Dot to dot to damn dot.

"Hey," a rough hand touched her bare shoulder, while a cup of coffee hovered in her field of vision.

Shepard glanced up. Garrus. Bearing coffee and only wearing black tunic pants. Wow. Yeah. Okay. She cleared her throat.

"You okay?" he frowned.

"Yeah. Fine," she took a hurried sip of coffee and groaned, "Life saver."

"I live to serve," he strolled to his kitchen. She heard him rattling around with breakfast preparations and her heart melted a little. It was so damn…domestic. He called from afar: "Where do you go now?"

"Ash wants to meet me in the Skyllian Verge," Shepard replied.

There was silence from the kitchen. Then a cautious, "Okay."

"I will be fine, Garrus," Shepard was a little irritated.

"Sure," he agreed pleasantly enough, "Absolutely."

"And I will have Javik and James there to back me up. And EDI has more than proven herself in combat."

"Agreed. They are exemplary officers," the turian's reply was placid and he exited the small kitchen with two plates. One with his dextro-suitable meal, and another with what looked like eggs on toast.

Shepard's eyes narrowed, "You are being too agreeable."

"I know. The alternative is for me to act like an ass and demand you stay."

Shepard smiled, "And it means everything that you want to do it…but wont."

"Take care of yourself," Garrus took a mouthful of the mysterious mush, his voice nonchalant.

"Always do," Shepard took a forkful of eggs.

They both ate as though this were a normal everyday occurrence.

* * *

"There is little in this galaxy more mana to the soul than a decent cup of coffee," Spectre Ashley Williams observed, sipping from the cup clutched in her hands like the last preserver of life in this system.

"Not even seeing James Vega for the first time in months?"

"While that man is a sight for sore eyes, and his muscles the fantasy for this girl's dreams, this cup of coffee has been craved for much longer," Ash's eyes closed in ecstasy whilst Shepard laughed.

"So what's the deal, Ash. Why am I here?"

Ashley set down her cup and rubbed her brow, her expression suddenly serious, "Batarian settlements are being hit by humans heavily reinforced by cybernetics." Her voice was bleak, "And the Batarians are angry."

"Understandably," Shepard muttered, "Cerberus?"

"I'm very, very certain," Ashley ran her fingertip around the edge of the mug, "You know something?"

Shepard told her about Eden Prime and Ashley swore, "They are digging up their own people to carve them apart?" She sounded angry and disgusted.

"The Reapers achieved something that Cerberus had been trying to do for years," Shepard rubbed her lower lip with her forefinger, "I hate them for it, but I get what they are doing. I remember the half human cybers that we found on Mars. But why the Batarians?"

"There is no relay in deep Batarian space. Unless you jump here to the Verge, there isn't a way into this side of the Traverse. I wouldn't mind betting that whoever is in charge of Cerberus now is planning on setting up a base deep within Batarian territory."

"A fair bet," Shepard agreed.

"We need someone who can help us get through Batarian territory. We need to be able to investigate their planets without starting another war no one can afford to fight," Ashley leaned forward.

Shepard was silent for a long moment, staring down at her scarred and calloused hands.

"I think I know someone who can help. But he wont be happy about it," she sounded less than pleased herself.


	25. Normandy - Old Enemies

Shepard stood, arms folded. in the vid-conference room, listening to a holo of the angry figure of Ka'hairal Balak.

"I honestly don't give a shit," the Batarian snarled, "I don't want you, or any of your goddamn crew in Hegemony space. There might not be many of us left, but if you come anywhere near the range of our guns I will personally see you blown out of the sky."

"Pull your head out of your ass, Balak," Shepard snapped in response, "This isn't about the shit that went down between us. Your people are in a lot of trouble. They don't have the ability to stand against the assholes who nearly lost us the war against the Reapers."

Balak glanced down and she could see his fists clenching.

"Fine, Shepard. We wont shoot you down. But you can get yourself through our system. Lot of batarians hate you. Can't take responsibility for them."

"We need to go to Sidon. There is a human research facility that has gone dark."

"Do you have people on Sidon?"

Balak was silent for a long moment. Long enough that Shepard spoke again:

"Ka'hairal Balak, if the Batarian Hegemony have placed your people on Sidon, I need to know. It will complicate matters."

"Yes. There is a settlement there," Balak replied angrily, "It was the only damn planet barely touched by the Reapers."

"I don't give a damn, Balak. That's between you and the Council right now. Are they hostile?"

"No, they are farmers, some militia to protect them,"

"I will report when I know more."

Balak didn't reply, just cut the signal.

"Asshole," Shepard growled. Then sighed. She couldn't really blame him and he had committed what remained of Batarian resources to the Reaper Invasion.

She moved to depart, but Traynor interrupted her over the com.

"Admiral Hackett is on the com for you, Sir."

Shepard rubbed her brow, "Thank you, Specialist." She hit the connection. "Admiral."

"Captain," Hackett peered at her, "What news from the Hegemony?"

"They will allow us into their space but will take no responsibility for our safety."

Hackett rubbed his lower lip with his forefinger, "I see."

"On the bright side, if we approach their planets, their government wont fire on us?" Shepard sounded positive with a quirk of a smile.

"And it's Cerberus?"

"Yeah. Every indication points that way. The facility on Sidon has gone silent, I'm going to check it out. And the Hegemony has put a settlement on planet side."

"That's going to twitch Council tails."

"I'm going to check on it. Any news from the Citadel?"

"They made the decision to repair the Citadel. And…well…as mercenary as this sounds it has been great for the Sol economy. There has been a lot of traffic through. They think it will be another six months before they can jump back to Widow."

"Has a new Ambassador been chosen for the human representative?"

"Not yet. Since Udina's death, there has been a lot of concern about choosing the right candidate."

"Gotta say…I have to agree."

"Yeah," Hackett was wry.

"I will update you when we know more, Admiral,"

"Thank you, Captain," Shepard saluted and broke the communication when Hackett signed off.


	26. Sidon - The Research Facility

Shepard stepped out of the shuttle and activated her weapon. Vega came out beside her and EDI a moment later. Their surrounds were quiet. Shepard activated her comm. "Take off, Thompson. I will radio you when we need the pickup."

"Be careful, Captain. I'm still getting signals from low orbit,"

"Aye, Thompson," she signed off.

"Alright, you heard her, stay ready. We may get contact here."

* * *

The front door was jammed shut, and EDI went to work on the electronics. Vega swept the area with his HUD and brought his rifle up.

"Shepard? We have contact! Coming in to the east. Ain't friendly."

Shepard lifted her SMG and sighted, "Shit. Coming in hot. Drop ship with six..no..eight drops. Get to cover. EDI, can you get that open?"

"I need a few more minutes, Captain Shepard," the AI intoned.

"Alright. We will buy it," she slid into cover behind some metal crates, and activated her barriers. Her omintool powered up and she came out of cover to fire at the closest Cerberus operative.

The bolts barely made a dent. They kept coming. Shepard ducked back to pop a heat sink. She powered up a warp. They were heavily protected. She fired it and it staggered back. Shit. Cerberus had taken a serious upgrade.

Vega used an explosive round and blood smeared on the crate beside the once-human creature. Shepard ducked back and used a few moments to think. Hard. Shit. A full clip. Full powered warp and a carnage shot to take down an average mook. She tapped her earpiece.

"EDI, forget the door. We need you out here. These guys are seriously juiced,"

"As you wish, Shepard,"

Weapons fired hard and fast. Biotics smashed across distances and tech explosions blew apart armour.

Vega slid into a position beside Shepard, "We got 'em thinned out, but if we don't get inside, they can surround us."

"I'm guessing there won't be anyone left inside," Shepard snarled in reply, letting loose a shockwave to rock three troopers in their tracks. Vega slammed them with grenades to leave them sprawling.

"We need to know what they were working on, Shepard. Why Cerberus want it so badly."

Shepard agreed, "Yeah. Get us in, EDI. The LC and I can hold it."

* * *

Shepard leaned back against the door, breathing hard, "Shit. Those guys have had a serious upgrade." She rubbed a burnt spot on her arm, and flooded the area with medigel. It sealed and the painkillers acted instantly.

"It's like facing a whole squad of..you, Shepard," Vega groaned, examining the holes in his armour, "Fuck that shit, Lola. You are una dura-sevara hombre ."

"I'm going to take that as a compliment," Shepard levered herself off the door and strode forward into the darkened room, "Can we get some lights in here?"

EDI tapped some buttons on the console, "Coming right up, Captain."

The room flooded with light and they were struck with silence. Shepard broke it with a sigh.

"I wish I could say I was surprised," her voice was hard.

Blood smeared the walls behind several people in Alliance uniform. They had been lined up and shot. Vega let out a stream of invective in his native language. Whatever he said, Shepard agreed with. EDI was faintly distressed.

"I don't understand, Shepard, why would Cerberus destroy these people. They were not a threat. They are human also. How could they have destroyed such valuable sources of information…"

Shepard was grim as they went room to room. All empty but the for the dead.

"They aren't human any more, EDI. They don't have the capacity for compassion, or your ability to learn. They are less than either of us," she knelt down to close the eyes of a frightened young woman who had died with her hands held to the back of her head.

She lifted her hand to her comm.

"Normandy. This is Shepard. Inform the Alliance. They have lost an entire team here. Murdered in cold blood. Cerberus is still on site."

Joker came over the com, "Roger that, Captain. Any other orders?"

Shepard's face was grim, "Find their ship and blow it from orbit. Thompson has their last co-ordinates."

"Aye, aye, sir," there was intense satisfaction in Joker's voice.

Shepard moved toward the central computer consoles. She tapped a few keys then called over EDI.

"Can you get something off this and upload it to the Normandy? We need to know what Cerberus got from here. We can't help these people anymore."

"Yes, Captain Shepard," EDI moved to the console and started working swiftly, "Captain? There has been a breach of the east doors. If you wish, I can stop work and assist, but it will take much longer to obtain the information you require."

Shepard slid a new sink into place and raised her weapon to her shoulder, "Vega and I will hold this position until you get that information."

"Yes, Captain Shepard."

Shepard backed up to a doorway, her HUD showing heat signatures in the rooms ahead.

"Ready, Vega?"

"You got it, Lola."

* * *

Shepard dragged an unconscious Vega on board the shuttle and shouted to Thompson, "On board! GO! GO!" Every muscle screamed in her body and she leaned back against the wall of the shuttle breathing hard. The man was hurt bad, and so was she. Out of medigel, nearly out of time. EDI had several smoking holes in her chassis and leaned up against the corner of the seat.

"I am…alright…Jeff," her voice hitched, "I just…need some self…repair time."

Shepard gripped Vega's limp hand and lay the other one on her forehead, propping both on her knee. That was close. Way too close.

"Normandy," she slurred into her com, "Get the med bay ready. We have three wounded coming in."


	27. The Normandy Medbay

It was so very hot, the flames licked the ceiling and a section smashed down next to Shepard. She flung herself to one side, and coughed as the smoke singed her lungs. She tapped her com, "Vega? Vega!" she cried, "Come in! Damn it…" She wiped tears from her eyes. Stupid woman, she didn't think she would need her full face helm on this mission. The Kuwashii visor did little to protect her from these conditions.

She hacked up and spat a gob of black spit onto the floor of the office.

"EDI?" she tried again.

"Their…weapons…disrupted my…con..tion with …Normandy, Shep-rd," came the reply, harsh with static, "I can't..get…word through."

"Shit," Shepard swiped the tears from her eyes, streaking the soot over her face, "Okay, we just have to hold them until Joker gets the hint."

"Thompson …should… come through," EDI crackled through the com, "Where…Lieutenant Commander…Vega?"

"I don't know, he isn't responding," Shepard tried again, "Vega! VEGA!"

There was nothing but static. Bolts fired randomly into the room and Shepard slammed into cover. She leant up against the desk and held her gun at the ready for the coming charge.

And the ground shook.

"Fuck!" Shepard snarled, and her worst fears were confirmed over her com.

"Atlas…outside," EDI reported.

She took a few deep breaths. Vega was out there, somewhere. She came out from cover and slammed into the wall next to the door. She could see the Cerberus soldier inside the mech and sighted his head. The visor linked with her weapon and focused the small dot on his brow. She fired several shots before getting back into cover. She readied a warp and ducked out to throw it, copping several bolts to the chest that depleted her barriers faster than she was used to. Her omnitool beeped in warning. She breathed hard, and ducked out from cover again.

Fire. Charge biotics. Fire.

The Atlas came in hard. Her barriers were dangerously low and not repairing properly. She came out of cover again, and in three shots, her barriers were down and she took a bolt to her shoulder, her leg and her side. She cried out and went down to one knee. Fuck that hurt. She rose up again, the last of her medigel barely making a dent.

"EDI, right now would be a good time to make a heroic entrance," she murmured.

"I am sorry…Shepard…I cannot seem to…function," there was frustration in the metallic voice.

Shepard gasped in frustration. What the hell weaponry were Cerberus using? She groaned as she levered up to her feet again, and came out of cover to fire. The Atlas driver saw her and swung its guns around.

And exploded into a smear of blood in the cockpit and James Vega staggered out of the smoke, his chest smeared with blood. He dropped to a knee as the Atlas powered down and crashed to the ground. Shepard charged out of cover and used her biotics to put up a shield to protect them both from the hail of bolts that shattered the stonework around them.

He looked up at her and swiped the back of his hand across his mouth, smearing blood over his cheek. He looked at her with barely focused eyes.

"Did I get it?" he asked blearily.

"You saved my ass, XO," Shepard caught him as he pitched forward on his face. Man, he was a heavy bastard. She grunted as she had to hold him and the biotic shield.

The shuttle swung in hard, firing weapons, as her barrier went down and she and Vega were peppered with bolts.

* * *

Shepard started awake, surrounded by beeping machines. Doctor Chakwas was at her med station and glanced over as Shepard came to consciousness. She hurried over and rapidly checked some vitals.

"Relax, Shepard," her soothing tones slid through Shepard's confusion, "Your cybernetics have gone a long way to healing you."

"Vega?" Shepard tried to turn her head toward the other beds.

"He is hurt bad, but stable. We are heading toward Mass Effect Relay. We will hit in an hour. He needs medical attention, Shepard. More than I can give," Karin Chakwas tapped a few more buttons, "Something to help you sleep."

Shepard closed her eyes, "Okay." She frowned, but didn't open her eyes. "Who is in charge?"

"For now, me. Ranking officer. But by the gods, Shepard. Get better soon."

"You got it," Shepard murmured, sliding off to sleep as the painkillers slipped through her system.


	28. Earth - Patching the old and hiring new

"I'm sorry, Captain, he is still in surgery. We will know more in a an hour. He is holding steady though, we just have to do a lot of repair work. Whatever hit him, did a lot of damage," Dr Michel was harried, but Shepard's pale features had made her pause.

Shepard scrubbed her face with rough hands, ruffling her hair into haphazard spikes.

"Thank you, Michel. I appreciate you coming to tell me," she replied bleakly.

"He will be alright, Shepard, he's strong. Does he have any next of kin that should be notified?"

"I…yes, yes he does," Shepard rubbed the back of her neck, "I need to get to the Normandy and talk to some people. Please, any news…can you let me know?"

"Shepard," Michel gripped the other woman's cold hands, "Get some rest. You can't help him here. We can. I promise, I will call you the moment he is out of surgery. The very minute."

Shepard quirked a faint, humourless smile, "Thank you, Doctor, honestly, I appreciate it. He's…family."

"I know. His name is legend around here. He made so many friends around the refugee wards. He kept people distracted, cheered up and charmed the whole time,"

Shepard's lips firmed, and just squeezed Michel's arm before she was called over the intercom to attend surgery and had to depart.

* * *

"I need a tech expert," Shepard snapped at the four councilors.

The turian councilor's eyes narrowed, "Captain Shepard, right now, we have everyone working to rebuild our galaxy."

"Cerberus is operating in Batarian space, Councilor. And they are using Reaper technology to improve their armour and weaponry," Shepard was grim, "One of my team was hurt badly in the attack on Sidon. Batarian space is already in a lot of upheaval, if Cerberus plan to expand into the region there will be little we can do without the mass relay in operation there."

The asari councilor had been silent to this point, "Captain Shepard, have you discovered who is leading Cerberus?"

"No," Shepard shook her head, "When the Illusive Man took his own life, I didn't give them much thought. But a lot happened within Cerberus that he didn't know about. Someone has stepped into his shoes."

The human councilor, a woman that Shepard didn't know, spoke then, "If we get you this tech specialist, what would you use them for?"

The turian councilor scowled disapprovingly.

"Their weapons disrupt EDI's connection with the Normandy. I can't use her on missions. She gets shut down. I need someone on the ground with me who can look at the information and make fast decisions without fucking around. I don't want some new little wet ears out of the Academy. Cerberus aren't messing around. I need someone who can handle themselves."

"Give us a moment," the Salarian dalatrass turned to her compatriots and they shut down sound between the two platforms.

Shepard swiped her hands across her eyes, and glanced down to see a message come through from Michel. She keyed it, and scanned the brief missive. She sighed with relief and closed it. Vega was out of surgery and stable.

"Captain Shepard, we can give you a choice of two - Lantar Sidonis - a turian tech, or Lia'Vael nar Ulnay vas Neema," the asari councilor read off a tablet.

Shepard went pale, "Sidonis?"

"He has been instrumental in the restructuring of C-Sec communications. But we are willing to loan him to your cause," the salarian dalatrass intoned.

"Please send me their files," Shepard said weakly, "I will give you my decision by the end of the day."

"Very well," the turian replied gruffly and tapped some keys on his terminal. Shepard's omnitool activated as the information came through.

"Thank you," Shepard murmured, "I will keep you updated."

"Thank you, Spectre," The turian replied.

* * *

"I don't know what to do, Garrus. The Council want me to take on Sidonis or this quarian Lia'Vael," Shepard rubbed her brow as she leaned on her elbows at the desk in her cabin.

"Sidonis," Garrus hissed, "You can't trust him, Shepard." His eyes were hard, even across light years.

"I know, I know," she replied wearily, "But he was a fucking good tech. Even you said that."

"Love, I know that you could handle that asshole, but I don't like the idea of you stuck on the Normandy with him," Garrus' subharmonics vibrated with worry, "You need to trust your crew."

"I know. And Cerberus have gotten some frightening tech. They must have been playing with it for a couple of years, and are now testing it on isolated communities," Shepard reached out and touched the screen, desperately wishing for contact.

Garrus placed his palm on the screen against her own, "This quarian may not be known to you, but maybe Tali could help?"

Shepard nodded slowly, "They said she was vas Neema. That is Tali's old ship. Maybe…yeah, just maybe."

"You look tired, my love," Garrus murmured, "You are tired and you are worried."

"I am," Shepard acknowledged, not bothering to lie, "And I miss you more."

"And I miss you," he replied softly.

"Thanks for listening,"

"That's what boyfriend's are for," Garrus shrugged with a movement of his mandibles that she knew to be a smile.

"See you soon," she pressed a kiss to her fingertips and then to the screen.

"I hope so."

Shepard leaned back in her chair, resting her head on the upright and sighed. She closed her eyes for a moment.

"Captain Shepard?" the voice came over the com.

"Yes, Traynor?" Shepard growled.

"Sorry to disturb you, sir, but Doctor Michel wished me to inform you that Lieutenant Commander Vega is awake."

"Thank the gods," Shepard whispered, "Thank you, Traynor. Head off duty. I'm not expecting anything more tonight."

"Aye, sir."

Shepard brought up the file on Lia'Vael. The quarian was young, but had seen a lot of action during the Reaper invasion. She had been part of the ground team in Kal'reegar's squad, serving as their tech specialist. She had not returned to Rannoch after the invasion, but had chosen to stay to repair the Citadel.

She reached out to her comm to tag Tali for a call, but was informed that she was out on assignment and would not be back for the next day. She sighed. She had to make the decision without certainty.

She leaned forward and tapped out a message to the Council. Lia'Vael would be joining their crew. Poor girl.


	29. Welcome Aboard, First Lieutenant

Shepard sat beside Vega's bed, leaning back in the backbreaking chair, her booted feet on the window ledge. Her head was tilted at an angle that she would regret upon waking. Vega opened his eyes slowly. Had he been run over by a krogan tank? That might explain the way he was feeling right now.

He groaned and moved his hand to rub his brow. It set off the heart rate monitors and Shepard stirred awake, red rimmed eyes blearily regarding her XO. She rubbed the back of her neck as it protested the sudden motion as she sat up.

"Hey," she growled.

"So, like, that was a fucking huge mech, right? Not my imagination?" Vega frowned, pain etching his features.

"Yeah. Cerberus upgraded. Our weapons are struggling to bust through their barriers, and their weapons can slice through ours a whole lot faster than they can refresh," Shepard leaned forward, her elbows resting on her knees, "We are picking up a quarian tech to help us on the ground. I'm going to head to Khar'shan and meet with Balak."

"Right, good. Should be good to go," Vega nodded sharply.

"You aren't coming," Shepard replied bluntly, "I need your A-game and right now, you would be lucky to get off the bench."

"That's bullshit, Shepard," Vega snarled.

"It's not and you know it. When the docs clear you, you get on the first transport out and we will get you. But until then, I can't use you."

"Fuck," Vega clenched his hands on the sheets, "What good am I if you can't even trust me not to get shot up on a simple mission."

Shepard paused. Undid the top buttons on her tunic.

"Hey now, I know you want me to feel better, Captain, but…" Vega held out his hands, only half serious.

She rolled her eyes and opened her tunic. The flesh over her clavicle was laid open to the bone, her cybernetics glowed red through the rend. There was a new healed scar on her neck.

"I went down, Vega. Hard. Only the fact I have biotics and cybernetics kept me alive, and I'm only alive because, like a moron, you ran out and tackled an Atlas face on. And I owe you my life for that."

Vega still scowled, but his eyes were narrowed on her wounds.

"You will be on your feet soon, Vega. I promise. You are a tough asshole," Shepard paused at the door, "Besides, Ash said she was on her way back to Earth to report to the Council." She grinned. "You can use the apartment."

"Alright," Vega grumbled grudgingly, looking vaguely mollified with a small flicker of interest in his eyes.

* * *

"Captain Shepard vas Normandy, I am First Lieutenant Lia'Vael nar Ulnay vas Neema…" the lithe Quarian saluted, her trunk resting by her feet.

Shepard narrowed her eyes, "I know you."

The Quarian lowered her hand, "Yes, sir. I was on my Pilgrimage several years ago when I was nearly arrested by C-Sec for stealing a credit chit. You used your Spectre status to investigate it when you didn't have to."

"That's right," Shepard pointed at the Quarian, "I would have thought you would have been on Rannoch."

Lia'Vael shrugged, "One day, I will. I lost my betrothed upon Palaven and I have not felt the desire to return to my ship yet."

"On Palaven?" Shepard frowned, "Who was your betrothed?"

"Ja'kel nar Tonbay vas Neema. He was part of Kal'Reegar's squad. I was informed that they died before we came into Earth space."

"Ah, damn. I'm sorry. Too many good people died in the war," Shepard shook her head, "Well, you are welcome on board the Normandy." She held out her hand, and Lia'Vael shook it with solemnity.

"We depart for Khar'shan at 0700."

"Yes, sir,"

"Traynor will show you to your cabin. I will come see you when you are settled in. We have to brief you on the situation before we enter Batarian space."

"I was warned it would be interesting being on the Normandy,"

"You have no idea," Shepard replied drily, "My XO on this trip is a self aware AI, First Lieutenant." She keyed her omnitool, "Alright, Lieutenant, you should be clear to enter."

"Huh, an AI" the Quarian glanced toward the ship, "Interesting."

Shepard watched the woman pick up her trunk and enter the ship with her authorisation. Kal'Reegar was dead? Huh.


	30. Grudging Help

"I need permission to land, Balak," Shepard snarled at the comm.  
"You can whine all you want, Spectre, but forget it. I don't have to let you do any damn such thing," Balak's voice was a growl.  
"Look, I need to bloody well update you on Cerberus and I have no guarantee this goddamn channel is secure. Your people are dead, Balak. And more are going to be taken down the longer you stand here bitching about events that neither you nor I can do a damn thing to change,"  
There was silence on the other end of the comm channel.  
"Fine," he growled, "Docking bay B18. A squad of my men will escort you to my office. Do what they say, they have my permission to shoot."  
"Just fucking try it, Balak and see how you like the wrath of the Council on your head," Shepard slammed her hand down on the channel release, and kicked the console panel beside her.  
"So…uhh…" Joker began, "They aren't going to fire, are they?"  
"I would like to see them try," Shepard snarled out and strode angrily toward the conference room to brief the crew.

* * *

Shepard sat in a chair opposite Balak, one ankle propped on the opposite knee.  
"So…what? They are cyborgs?" the batarian was worried, none of their shared animosity in his voice.  
"I think so," Shepard was grim, "Their weapons can punch through our shields faster, their shields are stronger, and they just keep coming unless you put them down hard."  
"So tell the Council? Get them to send…" Balak waved a hand.  
"Send who?" Shepard shrugged, "We don't know where, we don't know who is in charge. And right now, the Council are like everyone else, just trying to rebuild. Resources are being channelled away from the military for the first time in five years. There are no fleets right now. We need more intel."  
"Fine," Balak waved a hand, "Go get your damn intel."  
"I need a batarian on my crew," Shepard said, her hands clenching tightly.  
"What?" Balak narrowed his eyes.  
"I need someone who can talk the language, walk the walk. Your people wont talk to mine, you know that and I know that. I have the tech and the biotics to work on Cerberus, but if I can't find the bastards before they get a foothold in your territories and start wiping out your settlements, we will be facing another invasion before we can even hope to prepare."  
"Fine. I will have someone assigned to your crew," Balak muttered.  
"Who?"  
"Sar'rya Ply'var," Balak brought up the file, "She is a pilot in our fleet, and is familiar with the planets through the Skyllian Verge and into the Traverse."  
"What? She is willing to go, just like that?"  
"Unlike your undisciplined kind, Spectre, our kind follow orders," Balak growled, "She will report to you, but I want updates on what the hell is going on out there. It might as well be a blackout thanks to the damn Reapers."  
Shepard stood up, "Fine. Get her on the ship by nightfall." She nodded at Balak and marched toward the door.  
"Shepard," the batarian muttered, almost unwillingly, "Look…thank you. Alright. No one else gave a damn about us after the Reapers."  
"I'm just doing my job," Shepard replied stiffly, before departing with her escort back to the Normandy.


	31. Teamwork

"Would Lieutenant Ply'var, Engineer Lia'Vael, EDI and Crewman Javik please come to the CIC conference room?" Shepard's voice reverberated through the ship.  
When the new crew arrived, they stared warily at each other and sat cautiously. EDI and Javik came in, having a rapid fire conversation, taking their seats after a salute to the Captain.  
"Alright, here is how things stand. I have had Sar'rya and Lia'Vael assigned to this case because I need help. We are going to be spending a lot of time in batarian space. There are a lot of batarians dying right now, and it would seem that Cerberus are behind it. Right now, my XO is in the hospital, put there after an attack with weapons that are beyond anything I have seen them use before. They tear our shields to shit," she paused, taking in the worried looks, "And they have something that stops EDI from connecting properly to the Normandy. Until we can neutralise that, I can't rely on her presence on our missions, I'm sorry, EDI."  
EDI's voice was pleasant, "That's quite alright, Captain, I understand. My abilities might be better served here."  
"Engineer Lia'Vael will be working on tweaking our tech so that our shields either regen faster, or can take harder hits. When Mordin Solus…" Shepard cleared her throat, and glanced down at the table top, "Before Mordin Solus died he was working on a project that would do such a thing. Maybe you can take his notes and go from there?" she looked to the quarian, who nodded seriously.  
"Aye, sir,"  
"Engineer Lia'Vael was also on Kal'Reegar's strike team during the invasion," Shepard glanced at the batarian and prothean, "She will be supporting us on the missions where recovering and investigating their tech will be a priority."  
"Captain Shepard," Javik began, "When will Lieutenant Commander Vega be joining us again?"  
"Soon. He just needs to be cleared by the docs to rejoin us," Shepard rubbed the back of her neck, "Until such time, Javik is my XO. His abilities upon the combat field are without question and his orders are to be obeyed as though they are mine."  
"That is an honour, Captain," Javik bowed his head, "I will not fail you."  
Shepard nodded, "Lieutenant Sar'rya Ply'var is familiar with the systems in the Skyllian Verge. She was in the batarian fleet on the attack on Earth. She is fluent in all forms of batarian our translators can't cope with. And we all know how batarians in the traverse just love getting chatty with us humans," a wry smile at the batarian pilot, who returned the expression blankly. Shepard mentally sighed.  
"Are there any other questions?"  
There was silence.  
"Commander?" Traynor's voice came over the comm, "We are receiving an emergency signal from a settlement on Camala. A batarian colony is under attack by Cerberus."  
"Alright, Traynor, I will be right there," Shepard acknowledged the call, "Sar'rya and Javik, you are with me on this one. Lia'Vael, I need you on those shields."  
"Aye, sir," Lia'Vael stood and saluted.  
"I will meet you in the shuttle bay, sir," Sar'rya saluted, and swept out.  
Javik waited a moment, and his voice was low when he said, "I never thought I would hear myself say this - but I miss Vega. At least he knew how to make a joke, even if I never entirely understood the context."  
Shepard made a soft sound that could be a laugh, "I know what you mean. I'm sure it will be fine. They just need to settle in, relax…"  
"Does a batarian know how to relax, Captain?"  
"Never seen one. But there is always a first time?" she punched Javik on the arm, "Get going. I will see you down there once I finish in CIC."

* * *

"Hey, Traynor," Shepard greeted her offsider.  
The other woman nodded at her, "Hey, Captain. "  
"What do you think of the new crew?" Shepard stepped up to the galaxy map and starting flicking through the Kite's Nest systems so they could switch from Harsa to Indris.  
"I have no idea," Traynor shook her head, her ponytail flipping from side to side, "They haven't spoken two words to me since coming on board. They just kinda…keep to themselves."  
"I know the feeling," Shepard rubbed her brow, "Javik said he was starting to miss James. I know things are getting desperate when he says something like that." She tapped Camala on the display. "Got those co-ordinates, Joker?"  
"Yeah, Captain, so…we running quiet?"  
"You got it," Shepard replied darkly, "Neither batarians or Cerberus are particularly friendly toward the Alliance right now."  
"Aye, aye, Cap'n,"  
She stepped back from the map and checked her terminal for messages.

FROM: VEGA  
TO: LOLA

_All clear. On the next boat out. Just tell me where._

"Thank the gods," Shepard muttered, and quickly typed the reply. She would pick him up on Eden Prime as soon as they were done here.

* * *

Elizabeth swung the shuttle into position into the zone. They could see the distant battle taking place. A handful of farmers trying to hold off Cerberus troops.  
"Those bastards," Sar'rya growled low in her throat, "Those farmers were doing nothing to harm anyone."  
Shepard activated her visor, the display lighting up blue, "Cerberus are little more than vicious animals wanting to piss on everything to mark their territory and kill anything that doesn't look human. The irony being, they are no longer human themselves."  
Sar'rya turned her sharp gaze on Shepard, her expression thoughtful, "You don't feel any kind of obligation to them?"  
"I didn't ask to be brought back," Shepard replied in a cool voice, "And they tried to make me their little puppet."  
Shepard hit the ground, her rifle up and heard Sar'rya and Javik activate their weapons as well. She looked at Sar'rya again, "You don't trust me yet, that's fine. Just shoot those bastards and we will get along fine."  
The first grim smile from the batarian, "My pleasure."

* * *

They crept forward into cover, swinging around to flank the main force of the Cerberus incursion. It was maybe ten cyborgs that they could see, though more may have been inside.  
Engineers had set up turrets and they were firing at anything that moved. Shepard peered around the corner, her rifle up. She observed the area and touched her comm.  
"Four here. Javik, lift grenades, Sar'rya, overload the shields. I will mass warp. If we can burn those shields, I want you to smash them with some big ammo charges."  
"Yes, sir," the batarian replied.  
Javik activated his biotic grenades and threw them at the feet of the four Cerberus troops. They looked down, surprised. The explosion lifted them up off their feet, Sar'rya threw the overload and the crackling sound mangled their armour. Shepard powered up the warp, took a deep breath and it hit square. There was the sound of screaming from the soldiers. Shepard came out from cover and hammered the flailing bodies with heavy warp ammo fire. Sar'rya's incendiary ammo smashed through the last of the shields and Javik threw another dark energy charge that clouded the area with murky shadow and left the four dead.  
Shepard dropped back into cover, and she glanced sideways at the batarian. The other woman nodded her approval.  
"Alright, six more that we know of," she pointed to Javik, "Scout north, we will leapfrog through."  
Javik took off, keeping low. He gestured for Sar'rya to come up, and she came past Shepard. Bolts sprayed overhead and Sar'rya threw herself to the ground behind a low wall. Shepard came up out of cover and prepped a lift. She hit with her back to the wall, and slid along it.  
"Ready the overload," she muttered to Sar'rya. The other woman nodded.  
Shepard glanced around, jerked back as bolts sprayed chips of brick across her face. She winked at Sar'rya, leaned back around as they paused to remove the heatsinks and through the lift. Sar'rya came up on one knee, and threw the overload to their shields. The almost instant attacks confused the two Cerberus troops and they were left flailing hopelessly. Javik leaned out from the other side of the building and shot the two men several times. The lift ended and the soldiers crashed to the ground. They took cover.  
Shepard swore. She leapt over the low cover and ran to a set of stairs, crouching behind the angular building structure. The soldiers fired on her, chipping cement and coming damn close to her head. She saw Javik and Sar'rya continue to flank around. She popped out and blasted a few bolts toward the soldiers. They ducked back down, buying her more time. She prepped a warp. A trio of grenades flicked over the wall. She grinned. When they exploded, she threw the warp, and she saw Sar'rya rise up and activate her tech to throw an incinerate effect field. With no barriers, the troopers screamed as they burned within their suits.  
Shepard shot them quickly, alleviating their suffering. Sar'rya came out of cover first, her shotgun resting on her shoulder. She prodded their bodies with a boot and looked up at Shepard.  
"Three more,"  
"Yep," Shepard grinned at the batarian, "You do nice work."  
The batarian had turned to head toward the door. She paused and turned back.  
"You too,"  
Shepard glanced at Javik with a risen brow. He shrugged. The Captain slapped in a new heat sink and strode toward the door after Sar'rya.

* * *

They stood looking down at the last of the dead cyborgs. Shepard squatted over one of them them, as the batarian farmers were informed of their safety by Sar'rya. She yanked off it's helmet and drew back in disgust.  
What the Illusive Man had done to his people was nothing compared to this. Cybernetics twisted and clawed the facial features underneath in a rictus of pain. Javik had removed the helmet off another one of the soldiers and his voice was bleak.  
"Captain, you need to see this," he rose to his feet.  
Shepard moved across, and stood beside her XO. Her eyes widened, "What the hell?"  
She knelt down and gripped the chin, turning it this way and that.  
"This is a child!" she cried, "He couldn't be more than thirteen. And these cybernetics, they have been in for years. What the hell is going on?"  
Sar'rya approached, bringing with her an older batarian. His features were grim.  
"Captain Shepard," her voice was solicitous, "This is Ga'resh, sir."  
"Ga'resh," Shepard held out her hand, "I'm sorry we could not be here earlier."  
"You came," Ga'resh gripped Shepard's hand, "You saved those of us that remained. We can thank you for that."  
"You are welcome," Shepard nodded seriously, "I will keep an eye on your settlement. We will remove these bodies."  
"No, Captain," Ga'resh shook his head, "It is the least we can do. Can you please find those who sent these poor creatures and put them down?"  
Shepard paused, glancing at Sar'rya, who was watching her with a thoughtful expression. She asked of Ga'resh, "You feel sorry for them?"  
"They are not human, are they?"  
"There were…." Shepard glanced at the child at their feet, "Once."  
Ga'resh looked down at the cyborg, "Someone truly awful is doing this." He paused.  
"I had heard that human settlements on the far side of Camala had gone missing. Men, women and children. At first there was fear that is was the Collectors at work again," the farmer squatted on his haunches and touched the cybernetics.  
"Humans are being kidnapped," Shepard frowned, annoyance settling on her features, "Why hadn't the Council been informed?"  
Ga'resh glanced up, he clasped his work hardened hands between his thighs, "Not all of us are focused on politics, Captain. Some of us just want to get on with our lives. But there is much bitterness from those in power."  
"Yeah," Shepard agreed softly.  
"Fight for those of us who can't fight back, Captain," Ga'resh rose to his full height, "but for you and your crew, none of us would exist."  
"You are right," Shepard nodded.  
"We will pray for you, sir," the farmer nodded, "That you can all make our leaders see the light, to show the galaxy that the batarian peoples are more than just pirates and mercenaries."  
"I'm seeing that," Shepard smiled at the farmer, and at her new crewmember.  
"Goodbye, Captain Shepard," Ga'resh nodded as the shuttle swung in.

* * *

"I did not expect a man in a remote farming community to be so…well spoken and well versed in politics," Shepard leaned back on the wall of the shuttle, her gaze resting upon Sar'rya who sat with her eyes all closed.  
One set of eyes opened and regarded the Captain with coolness, "We are an educated people, sir."  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean…" Shepard began to apologise.  
"But," Sar'rya interrupted with a small quirk of her lips, "He was once a soldier like myself. When the Reapers were defeated he came back here."  
Shepard nodded, "Nonetheless, I have made assumptions about your people, Sar'rya, and for that, I apologise to you."  
Sar'rya shrugged, "And I assumed that humans were more selfish. I was wrong about that too."  
Shepard just hummed.  
Javik opened his eyes, from where he had been resting in the corner, his arms folded across his chest, "In my time, human's were little more than knuckle dragging primates barely capable of making fire and batarians ate small furry creatures in their forests."  
Shepard snorted with laughter, "Javik, never change."  
"That isn't in my plan, no," Javik drawled in reply, closing his eyes again.  
Sar'rya watched the insubordinate display with an open mouth, and snapped it shut again as the intercom of the shuttle sounded.  
"Docking on the Normandy, Captain," Elizabeth's voice came over the com.  
"Thank-you, Lieutenant," Shepard picked up her visor from the seat beside her.  
"I am sorry that this Cerberus are taking your children," Sar'rya said after a brief silence, "And turning them into these monsters. It is wrong."  
"Yes," Shepard agreed, "It is."  
She stood as the shuttle shuddered to silence. She clapped the batarian on the shoulder, "And we will stop them from hurting your people."  
Sar'rya stood in the shuttle bay, frowning at the Captain left. Javik stood beside her.  
"She didn't say anything when you were so rude," she murmured at the Prothean.  
"She is an unusual human, Lieutenant," Javik set his weapons on their racks. He looked at the batarian, "She believes that a Captain is only as great as the crew she commands. And this crew saved the galaxy."  
"There isn't many of her old crew left," Sar'rya unclipped her chest plate and set it in the armoury locker.  
"Well, you are her crew now," Javik pressed the call button for the elevator.  
Sar'rya paused in removing her gauntlets, "I suppose I am."  
She tapped a fingernail on the edge of the locker, and pursed her lips.


End file.
